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Tan Rat Blog Entry |
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September 27, 2024, 12:01:12 AM 9/27/24: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's characters from my anthro WWII storyline are PFC Gray Rat and PFC Tan Rat. They're relatively minor characters from the old character list who need to be developed (though Tan doesn't last long). There'll be more about them later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se. Regarding their design, Gray is meant to be young and rather bookish, while Tan is more outgoing; I made him look a bit too much like Gold here though, may need to tweak his design some. TUMBLR EDIT: Tan Rat's original description from the circa-2002 character list: TAN RAT: PFC; a newbie who doesn't last very long... (Newer Trench Rat.) Current storyline Firstly, please check Gray Rat's entry for an opener to Tan here. (As it turns out, this entry ends up being a continuation of Gray's story rather than a lot about Tan.) I might change Tan's rank, but maybe not; suffice it to say for now that although he's a newer Trench Rat, he's not a newbie like Gray. He's already learned the ropes, and starts taking Gray under his wing. Maybe they're roomed together so that's how they get to know one another. Tan is chatty and sociable, seems a bit full of himself, though not in a way that makes him look down on others. He's similar to Gold in personality as well as looks (though I couldn't capture it in his portrait, he's tall and lanky, unlike Gold). And a tad overbearing; it isn't like Gray asks for his help, he just offers it whether he wants it or not. So, he's more of an attempted do-gooder than an actual do-gooder. He can't help but insinuate himself into things. Tan makes a point of accompanying Gray, for instance, when he joins a unit in patrolling or doing reconnaissance on a particular stretch of dirt road way out in the woods. It's an isolated, eerie area with a wide, scattered population of largely hostile German civilians informally known as the Waldvolk, or forest folk. While they aren't active combatants, and technically aren't Nazis, still, many of them hold Völkisch beliefs and despise outsiders--nah, not in a racist way, just in a "Get off my lawn" way. The Rats hope to establish an alliance with some of the friendlier ones at some point, though it's a very iffy prospect, and they know they have to tread carefully. So, out on this forest road, way out in the open, they're very cautious...at first. The longer they walk, the more they start to gradually let down their guard, because there's no one in sight and nothing happening. Tan is of course chatting with Gray, doing most of the talking. Gray's listening, though he's also mildly distracted falling into a half-doze as he trudges along, it's so warm and the air is buzzing. Tan notices his sleepy drifting and makes a bit of a joke out of it, exclaiming that if Gray doesn't want to walk point then he'll do so, he can't stop him, here he goes, don't try to hold him back. Gray rolls his eyes, lifts his head to snark back at Tan, just as Tan slides in front of him and turns his own head to look back over his shoulder at Gray, then--Gray hears it, a soft whistle, a buzz somehow different from the other forest noises, and Tan's temple bursts open, blood and bone and other matter spraying Gray in the face. Gray has just enough time to lose his breath in a whoosh. Tan collapses in midstep as everyone else, Gray included, freezes in brief confusion--the buzzing sound comes again, and with a sickening whump, another Trench Rat falls, then another yells and crumples, clutching his bloody shoulder. A puff of dust explodes in the ground near enough to Gray to make him flinch; "Sniper!" someone yells, and the Rats start running, dodging and weaving the best they can. For a moment they're certain it's a team of snipers hunting them, the shots seem to be coming from all over and in such quick, precise succession; only after ducking into the trees and spotting movement does Gray, wiping the blood from his spectacles, realize that, no, this is a lone sniper, well disguised and very agile and quick footed--Gray actually locks eyes with him a brief moment, sees the flicker of venomous hatred there before he sees the rifle pointed at him, and throws himself sideways. The side of the tree he'd just been hiding behind blasts open, then he hears the rifle jam--"Verdammt!" the sniper hisses, and Gray jumps out and, screaming at the top of his lungs, hurtles forward with his bayonet pointed out. The sniper gets a comically surprised look on his face before following Gray's lead in jumping out of the way; he promptly disappears from sight, and there are no more gunshots, so it's pretty clear he's fled. The other Rats start emerging, weapons drawn, yet no one finds anything. The unit leader arrives and rebukes them for slacking off, as well as Gray for his highly irresponsible actions, yet at least this gives them the chance to go back and collect the dead, including Tan. Gray swallows down both his nausea and the lump in his throat as Tan's limp body is retrieved from the road, eyes still open but glazed; he has trouble getting to sleep that night, as he realizes something he's not sure anyone else knows: Tan, while joking around, inadvertently saved his life. The sniper's first shot was clearly intended for him. It's a while--and the loss of a handful more Rats later--before details emerge. The sniper, apparently a civilian when he first targeted them, has been recruited by the Wehrmacht and goes by the nickname Ratdog--"Fitting," Corporal Gold Rat grumbles, for someone who makes his living hunting rats. They just can't figure out why one of the Waldvolk would target them, unprovoked, like this. Learning later on that Ratdog is actually a Junker--a duke--confuses matters all the further--why is a former duke living out in the middle of the woods, shooting Trench Rats?? Apparently, he's working under the assumption that the Rats are somehow responsible for the death of his toddler son, but as for HOW he got such an idea, they're stumped; and he's not too interested in clarifying. The situation is complex, however, as Ratdog isn't quite the bad guy they think he is and it turns out he's being manipulated (and actually hates the Nazis)...though they still need to steer clear of him for a long while. Tan, who only ever acted flippantly and unseriously, ends up performing a selfless act in taking the bullet meant for Gray. Gray knows, he saw himself, how all it took was a moment's lapse of alertness, a stupid joke, a half-turn of the head--a shot intended to go right through Gray's forehead going through Tan's temple instead--for the other Rat to suddenly and unintentionally become a hero. Gray knows Tan didn't mean it to happen, likely would not have stepped in front of him if he'd known a bullet was headed his way--he was an okay guy, but definitely not courageous or selfless--yet he does nothing to clear the matter up with the Rats. When he's questioned about the incident later, and realizes that he was the only one with eyes on Tan, he claims that Tan deliberately insisted on walking point because he "had a feeling" they were being observed. He hates lying, he's not good at it, but maybe he's convinced even himself of the lie, to make it easier to deal with...either way, the Rats accept his version of events. Burgundy looks him over to make sure he's okay (he's still spattered with Tan's blood and brain matter, and is rather numb), discreetly asks if he needs to talk to anyone, he declines, life goes on. It's a long while before he sleeps through the night again, though...he keeps waking from a slow-motion dream of Tan turning to smirk at him, smirk vanishing along with the side of his head and the life in his eyes. He doesn't tell anyone about the dream...yet the moment he happens to be the one nearby when another Rat has something he needs to talk about, he sits and just listens. A scene in my head popped up as I was writing the above. Tan's death doesn't affect just Gray. After Germany's surrender, when some of the Rats remain to finish up their operations, Gray decides to remain for a time as well and do what he can. They coordinate with numerous parties in their cleanup efforts, including not just Allies and partisans, but a handful of German citizens, some who had served the Reich yet are not deemed war criminals by the makeshift tribunals. Gray hasn't kept up on all the details of the Trench Rats' complicated alliances in the war's last days, as he wasn't directly involved, so he's rather surprised to learn that one of their more useful allies toward the end was Lt. Ratdog himself. He doesn't really understand this, and frankly isn't that interested in knowing, until he's approached by the chief engineer, D-Day--with Ratdog in tow. D-Day says Ratdog remembers him, and wants to tell him something, if he'll hear it. Gray's nerves prickle on seeing him again, yet Ratdog's eyes, so full of vitriol the last time he saw them, are changed...the hate is gone, now he just looks profoundly tired...and sad. And guilty. He says to Gray in a soft voice, "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" Gray shakes his head; Ratdog bites his lip, turns to D-Day, and starts speaking. His speech is subdued, stilted, and more than once he has to stop to swallow, his eyes glassy. He cuts himself off at one point and pulls out a locket, which he pops open and holds out toward Gray. Unsure what he's intended to do, Gray takes it and looks at it. Within is a small photo, a little boy with big wide bright eyes, beaming at the camera. "Mein Sohn Hans. Ich habe ihn geliebt," Ratdog murmurs, holds out his hand, and Gray gives back the locket. Ratdog carefully tucks it away, sniffles and rubs his eye, finishes whatever it is he's saying to D-Day; and starts to turn away; "Herr Rattenhund--?" D-Day says, but Ratdog holds up a hand and with a mildly disapproving look, makes a cutting motion; "Adel," he says, "Rattenhund ist tot," and bobbing his head at Gray, walks off. D-Day turns back to Gray. "What'd he say?" Gray asks, not sure if he'd like to know. D-Day hesitates, then says uncertainly, "He...said he doesn't wish you to know, if you believe it's just an excuse...he'd rather you go on believing that, if so." Gray pauses now. Truthfully, he figures that whatever Ratdog just said, it must have been some sort of excuse--why else try a sympathy ploy, like showing off a photo of his son--yet it's starting to niggle at him, especially the last words Ratdog said; he can't understand most German but he's pretty sure tot means dead. "I want to know," he says, "please." D-Day takes a brief moment to sort out his response, speaking carefully. "He said he's sorry...it's different in German though, I can't quite convey it in English. He said his heart is empty, except for regret. Regret is all that's left. He said he takes responsibility for all he did and doesn't claim he was just following orders. But he says he was lied to. That he's not to blame for the lie but he is to blame for simply believing it. That if he could spend the rest of his life trying to make it right it would never be enough and he knows that and doesn't ask you to forgive him. But that he genuinely is sorry. Ratdog is gone now, he's left behind." "Why did he show me that photo? He wants me to feel sorry for his son?" D-Day blinks. "Hans...? He just wanted you to see him. And know that he loved him." Gray frowns. "'Loved'...?" "I'm not sure how much you know about all that's happened. Herr Rat...Herr Adel helped us in overthrowing General Schavitz. Schavitz is the one who recruited him for the Wehrmacht and gave him that name. He told Herr Adel it was a Trench Rat who killed his son and that's why he started shooting us. Schavitz is actually the one responsible, but Herr Adel had no way of knowing. That's the lie he says he's sorry he believed." Gray takes this all in as if it's a punch to the gut. D-Day is right in assuming he's unaware of much of the situation. The bright-eyed little boy in the photo is dead. Ratdog thought that they were to blame, and made that misbelief into his entire identity--even taking on a new name to reflect it. That's bad enough...but to learn that the person he served in pursuit of his revenge is the very one responsible for his loss...no wonder he said his heart is empty of everything but regret. German, English, whatever the language, Gray doubts there are any words to adequately convey the feeling. He knows he can't really describe how he's feeling upon learning all this. Hans died, and then Tan died because of a lie. It all just seems so...pointless. Gray's heart feels a little empty, too. Years later, this, along with all the losses Ratdog--Adel--experienced himself, losses he never discussed with others, take their toll. Gray learns secondhand of his suicide. He has to pause and swallow like Adel did while offering his apology...he knows they never would have been friends or even acquaintances, yet still, it hurts, the way small actions can ripple out into bigger reactions, how one inadvertent act--a speeding motorcycle, a joking turn of the head--can lead to unexpected, devastating consequences--a death, an unintentional martyr, an identity built on misunderstanding and hate. Although he never went out and shot people, Gray had done the same thing Adel did, blindly accepted one version of events and let it fill him with anger and spite. Like Adel, he had no way to know any better. Unlike Adel, he has the chance to try to do some good with it. Gray does a little asking--something he wouldn't have bothered with before. Learns that Adel left behind a family: A son, a daughter, a new grandson, named Hans. He gets in touch with D-Day, asks if it would be possible, if it would be acceptable, for him to meet them. D-Day says it's possible, and he thinks Adel's family would like to meet him. "Make it happen, please...?" Gray requests, and D-Day obliges. [Tan Rat 2024 [Friday, September 27, 2024, 12:01:12 AM]] |