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Joachim Meyer Blog Entry |
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December 13, 2024, 12:00:14 AM 12/13/24: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's characters from my anthro WWII storyline are Joachim and Edith Meyer. They're Otto Himmel's landlord and landlady after the Great War, and own the deli over which his apartment is located; Edith also looks after Himmel's young son Kolten while he's at work. They end up handing the business over to a friend and leaving, though they return when Himmel goes on trial. (They have a daughter but I haven't drawn her yet.) There'll be more about them later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se. Regarding their design, yes, they do resemble the Albrechts, the farm couple who take in the adult Kolten after he's liberated from Project Doomsday; Himmel even says the Albrechts remind him of the Meyers. TUMBLR EDIT: This will be divided to avoid repetition between entries. The Meyers appear and exit (luckily) before the main series, and reappear after it. So they're never in the story proper, though they play a big role in Captain Himmel's background story. I already included an exchange with Joachim Meyer, then unnamed, in Dagmar Himmel-Kammler's entry: As they go down the steps she asks if the deli is open and she can fetch something to eat; he says it is--the Jewish couple who own the place are the ones who rent him his apartment--and goes outside to wait for her on the sidewalk. While the woman waits on her at the counter, her husband suddenly comes hurrying out of the back with a broom in his hand, heading for the exit; the two women turn to look out the window just in time to see Otto swing and punch someone else standing in front of him. "Dietmar--!" Dagmar exclaims, and rushes outside after the deli owner. As soon as she rounds the store corner--Otto, Dietmar, and the deli owner with his broom all confronting each other--Dietmar spots her and points accusingly at Otto. Dietmar: "He hit me! You saw? Just attacked me! For no reason! I told you he's trouble!" Dagmar: *looking at Himmel* "Otto--?" Himmel: *stricken look; then scowls, but says nothing* Deli owner: "That's a lie, der Herr! He had very good reason!" *turning to Dagmar* "I don't know this man, Fräulein, but I know Herr Himmel and he's decent folk. You may not have seen everything but I sure did!" *shakes broom at Dietmar* "This fellow came along and looks like he picked a fight with Herr Himmel. Just minding his own business. He threw the first punch! Just his lousy luck he missed and Herr Himmel got him instead! It was self-defense if anything at all." Dagmar reproaches her brother--"What's gotten into you?"--even as he feebly tries to defend himself, claiming he was worried after she failed to return the previous night and so went out looking--questioning strangers in the park resulted in nothing, as none of them knew Himmel by name, so he tried a tavern where soldiers were known to gather, remembering that Himmel was one of them. Even they, however, had no idea who he was talking about (a foreign concept to Dietmar, who assumes all soldiers just know each other), except one, who informed him that "Hauptmann Himmel" never frequented bars, but he did know that he lived above a Jewish deli. By then it was late at night and Dietmar had to head home emptyhanded ("I got no sleep!--worrying dreadfully about you!"); he set out again early the next morning, easily locating the deli, but needing to wait until Himmel appeared. He again tries to protest that he was defending himself, which makes the deli owner shake his broom a second time--"You know very well you threw the first punch, der Herr!--as Gott is my witness!"--which makes Dietmar throw up his hands and exclaim, "Well then, why, if he's so damned innocent, won't he defend himself?--has someone cut your throat, Herr Hauptmann?--you had plenty to say when I was asking after my sister!" Himmel still says nothing so Dagmar finally puts herself between the two, telling the deli owner she can handle things now, asking Himmel to wait nearby and give her a moment, then reproaching Dietmar again: "I don't know what's come over you, Dee, but this needs to stop, now. We're both adults. I can look after myself, and you need to do the same. If I wish to spend time in Herr Otto's company then it's my right, and you have to accept that. I'm sorry I didn't call to let you know where I was, but you need to act more reasonably. You don't go attacking people! You're better than this! Now head on home and we'll discuss this more later today, I promise. I'm sorry I worried you so and I won't do it again. But you need to act responsibly, too." She kisses Dietmar goodbye, waits firmly for him to leave; he does so only reluctantly, casting Himmel a dark look as he goes. The deli owner heads back inside as well, leaving Dagmar and Himmel alone. "Did he hit you...?" Dagmar asks, feeling foolish; Himmel shakes his head. She asks him the same thing as Dietmar--why didn't he speak up to defend himself? Himmel doesn't make eye contact as he replies, "He's your brother. Why should you believe me over him?" I don't know yet about their own history, but Otto Himmel first meets the Meyers when he returns from the Great War, still recovering from bad physical and emotional wounds. He lost his widowed mother to suicide just before enlisting at age fourteen, so he's still rather young, yet has seen and experienced far too much; he witnessed another soldier step on a landmine, instantly obliterating him and the nurse he was talking to, and snapping Himmel's leg in the process. He was found later on by a unit seeking survivors, having dragged himself away into the woods and lapsed into a state of severe shell shock; then, while recovering in hospital, he nearly died of the flu. So when he arrives in the city, thin, limping, and far from home, seeking a place to live, he immediately captures the notice of Joachim Meyer, tending the counter at his kosher deli. Himmel is quite poor, having only the modest savings his parents left him and the paltry pay of the German military, which miraculously hasn't dismissed him following the armistice, though he's now relegated to working behind a desk. He looks far too young to be so haunted looking, and Herr Meyer feels his heart squeeze when he approaches the counter only after some customers leave, head ducked low, as if ashamed to be seen. He presents the sign Herr Meyer had had posted advertising a room for let, and meekly asks if it's still available. I'm unsure so far of Herr Meyer's involvement with the war--did he serve briefly himself?--did he lose a son to it?--just that Himmel cuts such a pathetic figure that he wants to help him. Yes, the apartment is still available, it's rather small and chilly and damp, and it's right above the busy deli, up a rickety flight of stairs. Himmel doesn't care, he doesn't need much, any place will do. Herr Meyer leads him up the steps and shows him the sad little room but as he said, Himmel seems satisfied, and they head back downstairs to settle the rent. This is when he learns that Himmel is in fact a veteran, and he offers him a deal on the apartment, to thank him for his service. For the first time, just briefly, Himmel shows a bit of temper; he bristles and insists, "I don't need charity just for fighting in some war!" Sensing a sore spot, Herr Meyer backs off, offering the regular price, and Himmel's temper fades; Herr Meyer has no physical rental agreement to sign, he asks merely for a promise and a handshake, which Himmel readily gives. Himmel then heads back upstairs with his single small case, and Herr Meyer finishes up in the deli for the day. Herr Meyer's wife Edith is tending to their young daughter; she exclaims loudly when learning of their new tenant, why weren't they introduced, why didn't he insist on a discount? Herr Meyer protests that Himmel was adamant about paying full price, and he seems like a quiet type, she can greet him tomorrow. Still, she fixes a basket of breads and jams and carries it (and daughter) up to his room. Himmel blinks in surprise when she introduces herself and offers the basket; "I can't pay you for this right now," he says. Frau Meyer has more backbone than her husband; she says it's a welcome gift, and won't hear of it when Himmel tries to protest. She does ask him what sorts of foods he can and can't eat, so she'll know what she can offer him in the future; Himmel replies that he's not Jewish, though he is vegetarian. He invites her in, if only because he's at a loss for what else to do, and wants to be polite. Frau Meyer takes a quick look around while chattering--she's skilled at picking up on the little details--and manages to learn a great deal about Himmel in just a few moments, before clasping his hand and offering a warm welcome and goodnight and heading back downstairs, leaving him a bit flustered and speechless. Once back in their private quarters, washing up and feeding and putting their daughter to bed, Frau Meyer fills her husband in on everything she found out: Himmel is very young, without family, though devoted to his parents' memory--and most likely a pious Catholic--judging by the crucifix and the little shrine he set up in the apartment. He has an Iron Cross which he doesn't wear, and walks with the aid of a stick; he still has to cough and pause to catch his breath now and then. Judging by the photos he lovingly set up with a rosary and candles and a small statue of the Virgin, his mother was much like him, while his father was a sailor; although Jewish, Frau Meyer's made a point to educate herself on a few things, and when she mentions the Virgin's association with the sea it seems to strike a chord for Himmel, who says, "You know of Stella Maris...?" He offers up the information that his parents were named Anna Maria and Kolten, and that his mother was a devoted follower of Mary, while his father was lost at sea on a ship named Das Licht Des Meeres (The Light Of The Sea). Himmel isn't a strict churchgoer, preferring to pray alone, though he still carries the vaguely superstitious air Frau Meyer's found to be common in Catholics. Despite all this, he comes across as a genuinely kind and solicitous soul, placing a lot of emphasis on good works and humility ("This must be why he refused the discount, poor man, like a typical Catholic probably thinks he's not good enough!"), and shows not a single sign of the distrust of Jews that seems so unfortunately common in Germany now. And oh, yes--"He has a bit of a sweet tooth," Frau Meyer adds, as she'd seen him cracking open and poking his finger into one of the little jars of jam on her way out. She'll make sure to offer him sweets the next time she has a valid excuse to do so, as he does not like charity, so she'll need to come up with her own reasons. She's good at that. Himmel is a star tenant, always quiet and courteous and well behaved, never offering any trouble. He never raises his voice or stomps around, always keeps his room clean, never gives the Meyers any need for much work. He leaves early every morning (but Sundays) for his job on the nearby military base, one of the few left operational after the military's massive downsizing, and returns in the evenings, purchasing food in the deli for his small solitary suppers (Frau Meyer starts slipping in a tart or a chocolate here and there, and he doesn't raise a fuss) and heading back up to his room. He never makes noise, never has guests, always pays his rent on time. The three of them share greetings and farewells and a little chat here and there though Himmel pretty much keeps to himself, so they never get particularly close. Still, once in a while Himmel offers his services when the Meyers need help with something, and doesn't mind keeping a brief eye on their daughter or the deli when they need to step out for a moment. Frau Meyer thinks of him almost as a member of the family, albeit a somewhat reserved, distant one. She brings him a gift of a basket of pastries for Christmas and he rubs his wet eyes, murmuring thanks; Herr Meyer blinks when Frau Meyer returns to their rooms on the verge of bawling, cradling a small candle in her hands as if it's a baby chick. "Look at it!" she snuffles, "It's all he has to give. It may as well be made of gold." She sets it by the hanukkiah and lights it every night--"I haven't an idea how the Catholics celebrate holidays but it seems fitting, ja?" Over time the Meyers notice a subtle change in Himmel's rather gloomy demeanor; he seems just a tiny bit brighter, his limping step a bit lighter. Herr Meyer has to urge his wife not to be nosy; she can't entirely help herself though. Knowing that Himmel has taken to walking through a nearby park whenever it rains, to exercise his leg (and avoid people), she goes for a "casual stroll" with her umbrella one such day just to take a peek around. She spots Himmel, and as she'd expected, he's not alone; he's walking with a young bespectacled woman, a bit homely looking, yet the way they tentatively smile at each other makes Frau Meyer's heart melt. "A young Fräulein! He has himself a Fräulein," she exclaims when she gets home. Herr Meyer throws his hands up: "All right!--so now you've snooped when I begged you not to. Bitte, for the love of all, just let things be now. He obviously doesn't need a matchmaker." Frau Meyer pouts a little, but obeys. The two keep themselves out of Himmel's personal business until the incident already described above, following the first evening Himmel brings the woman--Dagmar--to his apartment. Late that night as they're heading to bed, Frau Meyer whispers, "He took her up to his room!--they haven't left since! Do you think...?" Herr Meyer makes a face--"Liebe! I don't need images in my head. They're adults. He's not trying to cheat on the rent. And frankly, she looks to be better off than he is. Just put his private life out of your head and let's get to sleep." The next morning, Herr Meyer heads into the deli and opens up for the day as Frau Meyer tends to their daughter. To his surprise, the first customer is Dagmar; she gingerly asks if he's open for business, and when he confirms it she mulls over the menu. Frau Meyer comes out front to take her order, and he goes back in the kitchen to prepare it as he doesn't have any items out for sale yet. As he does so, he happens to glance out the side window--Himmel is standing on the sidewalk outside, presumably waiting for Dagmar--but when he looks again, he's been joined by another man, and they appear to be arguing. Something about the stranger's posture--the way he bares his teeth and curls his fists--makes Herr Meyer forget immediately about Fräulein Dagmar's order; he grabs a broom and goes rushing back to the counter just as the stranger takes a swing at Himmel, misses, then Himmel punches him back. Frau Meyer and Dagmar glance aside just in time to see the punch--"Dietmar!" Dagmar exclaims--and she hurries to follow Herr Meyer out of the shop. The scene above occurs. Herr Meyer heads back into the deli as the other three are sorting things out; he and his wife remain silent, watching a bit anxiously, but end up unenlightened when both Himmel and the other man--Dietmar--leave in opposite directions, both scowling, and Dagmar meekly returns to the shop. Herr Meyer hastens back into the kitchen as Frau Meyer puts on a too-bright smile and says, "Looks...looks like a bit of a tussle there, Fräulein! Is all well...?" "Just a small misunderstanding with my brother," Dagmar murmurs, blushing, "he worries about me sometimes. Is my order almost ready...?" Herr Meyer brings it out to her, all forced smiles like his wife, he even tries to knock a bit off the price but Dagmar protests (and Frau Meyer cuffs his ear when she turns away); Dagmar leaves, everything settles down, and Herr Meyer lets out a breath before starting to prepare food to put out for purchase. Frau Meyer fetches their daughter and bounces her on her hip as she rebukes her husband. Frau Meyer: "Discount! What! If anything that young lady owes us. Bringing trouble after her!" Herr Meyer: "Oh look at you, you're one to talk! Always with the sneaky little gifts and sweets for Herr Himmel!" *Frau Meyer blushes* "Ja, I notice! I say nothing because it harms no one. I should expect you to take his side in this! Yet I think it's the same side. That poor woman is humiliated, you can't tell? I think that other young man is jealous of Herr Himmel." Frau Meyer: "That other young man is her brother, Liebe!" Herr Meyer: "Well there you go! Brothers are even worse! Probably thinks he's protecting her or something." Frau Meyer: "Protecting her!--from Herr Himmel? Pah! He wouldn't hurt a fly!" Herr Meyer: "Herr Himmel fought in a war, Liebe. Got a medal. Presumably he shot people. And you did see that wallop he landed on that man's face, didn't you...?" Frau Meyer: "Well...ja, I suppose...but, obviously he had it coming!" Despite their efforts to not get involved, the Meyers worry over the following days, as Himmel ceases his outings to the park, always returning to his apartment alone; his demeanor is as gloomy as ever, he keeps his head down and huddles in on himself, and although he still greets them same as always, he doesn't stop to chat and just spends all his time in his room. Dagmar stops by the deli one day to ask after him and Frau Meyer tells her about how he never goes out anymore. They can tell the altercation bothered him badly, though they don't know why. Dagmar heads up to Himmel's apartment, but is up there for only several moments before coming back down and leaving. In private Frau Meyer frets and Herr Meyer again has to tell her to let things be; if they're meant to work it out, they'll do so on their own. Frau Meyer pauses before saying, "She had something in her hand...Fräulein Dagmar. An envelope. Why would he give her a letter...?" Still...something seems to have changed again. Himmel slowly resumes his visits to the park, his gloominess again gradually subsides, and at last, one day, he and Dagmar come into the deli together. Himmel meekly asks if he can modify his rental agreement; Herr Meyer, a bit puzzled, asks why. Frau Meyer speaks up before Himmel can as she sees his ears go red; "Young miss, can I see your hand?" she asks Dagmar, who blinks, blushes, and holds out her left hand. Frau Meyer coos and clasps it in her own: There's a plain band on her finger, not even a stone, yet Frau Meyer remembers the little candle Himmel gave her, and knows the ring must have cost him dearly. She tells Herr Meyer to fetch Himmel's rental agreement. Now it's her turn to be surprised, when her husband admits that he never gave Himmel actual papers to sign, they agreed on his word and a handshake. He once more starts to offer a discounted rent, Himmel starts to protest, then Frau Meyer raises her hands and says loudly, "ENOUGH!" She names the additional fee for Dagmar to live there; it's absurdly low, the other three all blink, yet Frau Meyer gives no one any chance to argue: "That's the fee for a married couple! Always has been, always will be! I won't hear anything else." When the Meyers head to bed that night, Frau Meyer all beaming smiles over Himmel's luck, Herr Meyer pretends to cuff her ear, and in response to her exclamation retorts, "Discount! Who's offering the deals now? Told you you have a soft spot for Herr Himmel!" The Meyers are in the background, but always on hand to witness the following events of Himmel's life under their roof. Frau Meyer calls a doctor when Himmel hurries into the deli pale and breathless one day, and sits in their room sniffling and wiping her eyes as Herr Meyer consolingly rubs her shoulder after the doctor departs, mourning almost as if the pregnancy Dagmar lost was her own. The two notice when Himmel finally manages to coax Dagmar back out into the world, and when she starts to show; Frau Meyer has to fight to contain her happiness for them, as even though she doesn't believe in jinxes, Himmel seems to, and she doesn't want to make him more anxious than he already is. (She does continue sneaking sweets to Dagmar while Himmel is at work, though.) The Meyers again make a call, this time for a taxi, when Dagmar goes into labor...yet when Himmel returns a long while later, Dagmar isn't with him. He arrives at the deli carrying a small bundle in his arms, face pale, eyes red and glassy. Frau Meyer hurries out to exclaim over the bundle--a near-silent but blinking baby peers out--but when she asks after Dagmar, Himmel doesn't answer, just starts shaking. Tears spill out of his eyes. Frau Meyer's heart breaks. She hastens to help Himmel sit and frets over him, though she doesn't know what to do to help. All she can do is keep him company. After a very long while the baby squirms a little and makes an unhappy noise; Frau Meyer digs in the bag Himmel brought back with him, locates a bottle and formula, brings it to the stove to prepare. Himmel takes the bottle when she offers it and is so careful to do everything right, she assumes a nurse must have instructed him. "Boy or girl...?" Frau Meyer asks; Himmel replies, "His name is Kolten." He takes a shaky breath as if reality has just hit him, and softly says, "I thought she would be here with me. I don't know what to do." Frau Meyer assures Himmel that she and her husband will do anything they can to help, anything he needs. They have their own young child, so Frau Meyer already knows what to expect of a baby, she can guide him through that. And as for his worries about how he'll care for a child when he has a job he needs to do--"I can't afford a nanny"--she offers to look after Kolten during the day. She cuts off an expected protest--"I'll gladly do it, that's final"--yet all that Himmel does is dissolve in tears and start sobbing so hard that even Kolten stops feeding and fusses a little. Frau Meyer bites back her own tears, it's such a pitiful sight. Despite his overwhelming grief, Himmel works hard to be the best father he can. He leaves Kolten in Frau Meyer's care only with great reluctance, and spends every free minute with him when he's home. Kolten is a rather odd baby, alternating between strangely long periods of absolute silence, and fits of ceaseless squalling; while the crying itself doesn't bother Frau Meyer too much (Herr Meyer just retreats to the deli counter), it does bother her that she can't figure out why Kolten is upset. It's never needing a change, it's never needing food. Himmel is the one to finally offer solutions; he happens to be talking with Frau Meyer when she picks Kolten up and moves him from his spot, promptly starting the cycle of squalling. Himmel raises his hands: "Bitte! Could you put him back where he was? He's happier there, I promise he'll stop fussing and give you no more trouble." True to his word, as soon as Frau Meyer places Kolten back by the window, his squalling ceases and he stops squirming, just stares. "Wonders," Frau Meyer breathes; "I thought he might be too chilly by the window. How did you know?" Himmel points at a glass decoration hanging in the window, sending flickers of light into the room. "He likes to look at such things," Himmel explains, "lights and colors and such. As long as he has something to look at he'll be quiet. You don't have to move him around or anything, the draft doesn't bother him, just give him something to look at." Frau Meyer follows this advice; she only moves Kolten elsewhere when the light stops shining on the glass and he starts fussing again. She finds that if she places a lit candle in his line of sight, positioned so its flame flickers, this is enough to keep him content the entire afternoon. He's absolutely mesmerized when the holidays roll around and she sets out the hanukkiah for him to stare at. As he gets a bit older and discovers his own hands, his interests change a bit, though again, Himmel figures out how to keep him mostly well behaved. Kolten loves toy blocks. That's it, that's the only toy with which he'll play. He'll lie quietly and stare at a candle or a mobile, or look at the pictures in a book when it's read and held up for him, but the only thing he'll grasp and roll around in his hands is a wooden block. As soon as he's old enough to crawl, he starts pushing and piling blocks together, and is content to do that all day, though the Meyers learn pretty quickly not to take the blocks away, unless they want an ear-shattering shriek. Only Himmel can handle this particular behavior, murmuring reassurances and allowing Kolten to cling to one favorite block as he bundles him up to take back to his apartment. He always thanks the Meyers profusely and hugs his son close as he leaves; Frau Meyer can easily see how much he dotes on the child despite Kolten's odd mannerisms. Throughout all this, the couple have been warily watching the strange political situation unfolding in the country. It's nothing TOO concerning just yet, but they're getting uneasy. They've already heard the grumbles--and seen a few pointed, dirty looks--about how the war was lost, how it was supposedly the fault of their own sort, a "stab in the back." More and more former soldiers who lost their positions seem to hold them responsible. Herr Meyer is discomfited by the attitude veterans often give him even as they make purchases in his deli. Himmel happens to be waiting to pay for one of his own purchases when a man makes a vaguely offensive comment about the cost before departing; "Do they talk to you like that very often?" he asks when his turn comes, and Herr Meyer notices the dismay on his face. He offers to speak with the man or others like him and offer a warning; they aren't still military, so they can't be reprimanded, but perhaps some choice words will suffice. Remembering the fight Himmel nearly got into previously, Herr Meyer declines--"I guess it just comes with this economy, somebody has to be a scapegoat until the better times, ja?"--and assumes that Himmel's less judgemental attitude is because he still has his job. Still, Himmel asks that he let him know if anyone gives him or Frau Meyer any trouble, though privately, Herr Meyer urges his wife to refrain from taking him up on this: "Poor fellow has enough already to deal with! Don't need him endangering his job...I get the feeling his fellows are just fine with what's going on." Also privately, he starts stashing away some money, and going over their options...he has another feeling that they need to be prepared for even harder times to come. One day, a woman arrives, saying she's from the hospital, and has come to check on Kolten's progress. A few times, nurses have stopped by to check the child's vitals, and although they were less than satisfied with Himmel's poor circumstances, they always departed seemingly content that Kolten is healthy, well loved, and cared for. Something seems different about this woman, however; Himmel readily brings Kolten for her to see, and shows her his blocks and tells her all about his behavior, but her frown just grows more and more. Does Kolten never go out?--of course he does, Himmel takes him to the park when he can, he likes to look at the water. Does he have no other children his age to play with?--well...no, Himmel doesn't know any other parents aside from the Meyers, and Kolten doesn't really like to play with their daughter, he's happy by himself. How can Himmel tell he's happy, does he smile and laugh?--well...no...but he can just tell when he's content, he doesn't yell or squall. Does Kolten often throw temper tantrums?--are these blocks the only things he plays with?--has he started speaking yet?--does he point or wave at things, or call Himmel "Papa," or ask for his mother, or this, that, this...? Himmel grows more and more flustered with every question, which seem to be pointing toward Kolten not behaving as children should. Of course Himmel has no guidelines by which to judge, all he knows is what does and doesn't work for Kolten himself. The Meyers are also questioned; they know that something is a little...off...about Kolten, but still, Himmel knows how to handle him, so who are they to say he's a bad father or Kolten is a strange baby? The woman finally leaves, though she promises she'll follow up soon, and will want to observe Kolten without Himmel's interference. Frau Meyer attempts to calm Himmel after the visit as he's visibly distressed; "Why are they suddenly so insistent something is wrong?" he asks, "I've done my best, Kolten is happy, you can see it, can't you?" Frau Meyer agrees with him, but obviously, the woman is the authority, all he can do is let her do her job and with hope she'll move on once Himmel proves things are well. He still frets when she next arrives and insists on observing and interacting with Kolten herself, without Himmel; he paces in the deli, practically gnawing his nails, and the Meyers can tell he's twisted up in knots inside. From his room comes a sudden piercing squall; Himmel bolts upstairs in a blink, Frau Meyer following, and barges into his apartment. They find Kolten sitting on the floor screaming his lungs out, the woman standing beside him looking frazzled and disgruntled. Himmel: "What happened--? What did you do?" Woman: *offended* "Why am I the one who did anything--? Don't you dare touch that child, I'm observing him!" Himmel: *scooping up Kolten* "I'll do what I like with my own son, I'm the one who keeps him safe! You've seen enough! He's upset with something, what did you do--?" *looks around* "What's in your hand, what are you holding--?" *woman tucks her hand behind her back* "That's one of Kolten's blocks, isn't it? I told you! Nobody but I can pick up his blocks! He gets upset if anyone else does. Why would you try to provoke him like that--? It'll take ages to calm him down now!" Woman: *shakes block* "It's just a dumb toy! Even you can tell this behavior is abnormal! Children his age shouldn't throw such fits like this, it doesn't matter who does what. Nobody should need a warning about what he'll do!" Himmel: "I don't care what other children do. This is my son, I know how to handle him, you don't!" Woman: "And what about when he gets older, and you can't control him anymore--? Children get bigger! And stronger! Right now all he does is scream and cry, but what about later? What if he throws a fit and hurts himself, or, Gott bewahre, somebody else? When will he laugh, talk, call you Vater? Will he grow up able to do nothing at all? Even you have to know something isn't right with your son. Bouncing him on your knee and giving him a block to hold will work for only so long. Obviously, you aren't prepared to handle what's coming. This situation won't be tenable for long." *sulkily gives Himmel the block when he holds out his hand* "You'll be getting another visit. Your son needs a proper physical and psychological assessment before we decide on a course of action." Himmel: "Action--? What do you mean, action--?" Woman: "I suggest you get your affairs in order before then. Auf Wiedersehen." The woman refuses to answer any more of Himmel's questions, and leaves. Shortly after, he receives a letter insisting he bring Kolten to a clinic for assessment; he has to request the day off from his superior officer to do so. Frau Meyer anxiously asks how things went when he returns, hugging a wet-eyed, fussy Kolten close, yet he has no concrete answers to give; "All the time they spent poking and prodding and pushing at my Kolten, and they say he acts odd, well they would too if it were them!" After they'd subjected the toddler to a battery of tests of his physical responses, verbal responses, emotional responses, and everything else, Kolten was returned squalling his lungs out, and Himmel took him to the park for a little bit to let him cry himself out while Himmel tried to distract him by showing him the lights sparkling on the water; they didn't tell Himmel what any of the tests meant, indeed he wasn't even allowed to be near Kolten or even to observe all that was happening. Now that Kolten is mostly calmed down, sniffling and blinking in exhaustion, Himmel just hopes that the doctors have all the information they want, and he and his son can put the unpleasantness behind them and move on. Frau Meyer gives him a sweet to give Kolten later on and wishes him goodnight. That night when she fills Herr Meyer in on Himmel's account, he looks pensive, takes some of the money from that day's work, and stashes it away with the little hoard he's been building. "Why are you hiding away money...?" Frau Meyer asks in surprise; he rubs his head and returns to bed. "Just a feeling I have, is all...that cousin of yours, in Switzerland, are you still in touch...?" Frau Meyer frowns but says they still write occasionally; "Maybe you should send along another letter," Herr Meyer advises, "just to catch up a bit, see how the family's doing." He admits that the news of what the doctors subjected Himmel to makes him terribly uneasy: "If they're willing to do that to him, what might they be willing to do to us?" He describes not only the glowers and slurs he's been receiving more often, but business has gone down a bit as well--he has suspicions it's because the deli is advertised as kosher--and more often, he's been seeing men in brown shirts and caps and an odd arrow-like logo on their uniforms prowling around the city, instigating fights--he's already chased off one who was attempting to paint a vulgar word on the deli window. When Frau Meyer says, "Joachim!--why do you not report these thugs to the authorities?" he glumly replies, "Liebe, I think these thugs ARE the authorities." There's an additional point that makes him even more ill at ease, however. He's been paying close attention to what direction the political winds are blowing in, reading between the lines, noticing small seemingly inconsequential details that others would miss. After the initial visit Himmel received, he asked a few discreet questions of repeat customers he knows, who have family members with particular challenges--physical disabilities, intellectual issues--and the details he's been hearing are ominous. He's reluctant to upset his wife--"Who knows, maybe it's just hysteria, everyone is on edge lately, I don't want to spread rumors"--but again stresses that she write to her cousin and hint that they might come for a visit at some point in the future. He doesn't elaborate. Herr Meyer's suspicions prove to be accurate. A doctor and social worker arrive at the deli one day, two big men in white coats accompanying them, and request to see Himmel. He's at the military base, so Herr Meyer is forced to call him back to the deli as the group impatiently waits. Himmel appears not long after, breathless and wide eyed; although solicitous at first, he quickly grows alarmed when the doctor tells him to fetch Kolten, and demands to know what they want. The doctor doesn't answer, just gestures, and the two other men start moving through the deli. As soon as a glass hits the floor and shatters Himmel speaks up--"He's in the back apartment! By the window"--and the social worker goes to fetch him. "Herr Himmel!" Frau Meyer exclaims, hugging her own daughter tight; she hadn't intended to tell them where Kolten is, yet Himmel says, "I can't let them tear your place apart over me. I'm sorry, I'll settle it, I promise." When the social worker comes out carrying Kolten, who's starting to fuss and cry, Himmel pleads to be allowed to carry him wherever they want instead...but it immediately becomes clear that whatever happens next, Himmel is meant to play no part in it. The doctor says Kolten is going to be taken to a nearby psychiatric asylum where a medical team can properly care for him, something which Himmel obviously can't provide. At that moment, the social worker pries a block from Kolten's fist and tosses it aside, and Kolten promptly unleashes hell, shrieking loud enough to make everyone flinch. Himmel panics, and then, something the Meyers have seen only one other time, when he punched Dietmar in self-defense--he lashes out at the group, launching himself at the social worker in an attempt to claw Kolten back. The Meyers nearly recoil at the fury in his eyes, like a mother bear protecting her young. He actually manages to get past the two big men in white--the doctor dodges out of the way--yet before he can grab Kolten out of the startled woman's arms, one of the men whirls around--"HERR HIMMEL!" Frau Meyer exclaims, too late--and slams his arm down across the back of Himmel's neck. Himmel hits the floor--Frau Meyer quails, certain he's dead, yet he grimaces and attempts getting to his feet even then. The doctor comes forward and threatens him that if he tries to interfere again, he'll be arrested; even this doesn't deter Himmel, so the men in white have to hold him back. "Kolten! KOLTEN!" he yells as Kolten is bustled off, sobbing, by the social worker--"He's MY son! You can't take him! I don't allow it!" he cries at the doctor, who adjusts his glasses and scowls. "This is no longer your say!" the doctor retorts. "You were warned of your son's disability and how you don't have the resources to deal with it yourself. You refuse to place him in an asylum, then the state will just have to take action. It's for his own and the country's good--we can't have our blood continuously poisoned by vermin and idiots!" Herr Meyer grasps Frau Meyer's arm and both of them tense up. That's some distinctly vile language they weren't expecting. From the looks of it, Himmel didn't expect it either; his eyes widen, then his lip curls back. "My son is not vermin or an idiot!" he hisses; the doctor draws himself up and retorts, "Believe what you like, the state says otherwise"--right before Himmel punches him. Frau Meyer and her daughter cry out in dismay when the two men start pummeling Himmel in return; "Bitte! Bitte!" Herr Meyer exclaims, "Don't hurt him! He's just protecting his son!" The doctor, hand pressed to his bloody nose, pushes himself up and in a muffled voice says, "Stop! Stop it now!" so the beating stops and they step back; "I understand," the doctor says, fighting to keep his voice level, as Herr Meyer carefully helps the battered Himmel to his feet, "you just want your child to be safe. But you don't have the resources necessary for that, while we do. A child needs a mother and a father. Family! Not to be left behind in a deli all day. With a couple of Jews!" He gestures at the Meyers as if the thought of them looking after Kolten is absolutely outlandish. "And just because you think you can care for him now, even were it true, doesn't mean it will continue to be so. What of when he gets older?--ten?--fifteen? When a temper tantrum might get him or someone else hurt? You've already shown you aren't prepared for this. If you want your child to be safe, his best place is at the institution." The Meyers can only stand and watch as the doctor heads out after the social worker; when the door opens they can still hear Kolten's muffled crying from the waiting truck. Himmel tries to run after him, but the two men hold him back until the doctor is safe within, then they let him go and head out themselves, one getting in the back, one behind the wheel. The doors slam and the engine roars to life; Himmel dashes outside and actually follows the truck as it pulls out into the street and away, running after it and crying out for his son. The Meyers hurry to the door to watch the pathetic scene; they expect Himmel to give up and come back, yet even after falling he gets back up and keeps running until they're all out of sight. Himmel doesn't return until much later that night, limping slowly and weeping. Kolten isn't with him. Herr Meyer guides him into the back to sit while Frau Meyer hurries to make a cup of tea; Himmel holds it in his hands but doesn't drink. The sounds he lets out are heartbreaking; it's a long while before they gently ask what happened, what has he learned? Himmel haltingly replies that at first, he was denied entry at the asylum, but once the head psychiatrist was notified of who he was and why he was there, he was allowed in as long as he behaved. The psychiatrist was much more tactful and sympathetic than the team who took Kolten away--Himmel even dared to correct him when he called him Herr Himmel, retorting, "Hauptmann Himmel!"--yet stood by the state's decision to home Kolten there. The situation is a rather complicated one; it's a privately run institution, yet its operations have been taken over and are now overseen by the state, so while the staff still have some autonomy, it's rather limited and they don't wish to run afoul of the National Socialists. Himmel tried to pin down any information about when Kolten might be returned to him; the psychiatrist admitted that Kolten's condition is a lifelong one unlikely to be cured, but he stopped short of saying Kolten might be there for the rest of his life; who knows, medical advancements might help in the future. But no, Himmel would not be allowed to bring him home. Himmel asked to see Kolten, to at least wish him goodnight, yet the psychiatrist said they had finally managed to stop Kolten's screaming and they couldn't risk upsetting or confusing him again; so Himmel begged instead for them to give Kolten his toy block, which he brought along, to comfort him. The psychiatrist at last relented a little, took the block, and promised it would be given to Kolten. Himmel vowed to return the next day, and the next, until he was allowed to see his son; while the psychiatrist didn't promise anything either way, he did warn Himmel that if he caused trouble, he'd be arrested. And now here Himmel is, emptyhanded and heartbroken, yet determined to get Kolten back somehow, he doesn't know how but he has to try. "I promised to keep him safe. He's all I have," he says, and breaks down sobbing again as Frau Meyer looks on sadly. The Meyers don't get to learn--firsthand, at least--of what becomes of Himmel's persistent efforts to regain his son. Herr Meyer asks a few surreptitious questions, gets a few unsettling answers, then, pale faced, tells his wife one day, "We need to leave here, as soon as possible." He tells her--orders her, really--to contact her cousin and ask about traveling to stay with them for the indefinite future. He contacts a gentile friend of his, signs over the business to him, instructs him to remove the word "kosher" and their surname from the deli. He gets their savings and papers together, makes sure they have their passports, makes a few small bribes to smooth things along as the possibility of travel out of the country has gotten significantly more difficult. Frau Meyer finally manages to get a bit of an explanation out of him--it isn't at all like her husband to act like this--and again he mentions how the ordeal Himmel is being put through is what decided him on such a drastic course as uprooting their entire lives. Herr Meyer: "What I told you before...rumors...well, there's more of them now. I can't say. Herr Himmel, he's a Hauptmann, a veteran, what they call a good German, maybe he'll be fine?...but I don't know. All this trouble they're giving him! Over his own son! Like I said, if they're willing to do all that to him, what might they do to us...?" Frau Meyer: "You keep saying that, but what does it mean? What are you getting at? You think Kolten's in some kind of danger--?" Herr Meyer: "I don't know! I can't say. The Himmels are good Germans, Christians. Everything should be fine. But..." Frau Meyer: "But?" Herr Meyer: *lowered voice* "There's this...story...going around. That something's different with the clinics now that the state's taken over. Some of the patients, they take them somewhere else...in these funny gray vans...and either they take them to some other place...lots of windows and chimneys that smoke all the time...or they just...I don't know, disappear along the way." Frau Meyer: "Disappear?? How??" Herr Meyer: "I can't say. Just that the ones who do make it to this other clinic, this place with the chimneys, they...they never come back out." Frau Meyer: "What...?" Herr Meyer: "Their families get their death certificates and ashes. They die there. They never come back out." Frau Meyer: *puts her hands to her mouth* Herr Meyer: "That's not all, though...I found somebody, somebody who lost someone this way, and...they said the death certificate they got, it was wrong." Frau Meyer: "Wrong--? How?" Herr Meyer: "The cause of death on it was acute appendicitis...yet their loved one had their appendix removed years ago! The certificate lied!" Frau Meyer: "But...why?" Herr Meyer: "I don't know! I don't want to know or even think about it...but what that nasty doctor said, it made me think about it again...when he talked about vermin and idiots...'poisoning the blood.' He was talking about Herr Himmel's son. A good German! They'll even go after good Germans now, if they're a little weak in the head--? If they'll go after him, they'll definitely come for us at some point." Frau Meyer: "They who? What are you even talking about--?" Herr Meyer: "The state! Remember that thug trying to paint on our window. Those people work for them now! Those old soldiers who come in here and grumble at us and buy our food yet mutter dirty names. Notice they come less often? I thought, good riddance, but they're telling people not to shop here anymore, because the place is run by Jews. Remember that doctor, sneering at us, 'a couple of Jews'! They can make simple people, people a little slow maybe, disappear. They can lie about how they died. Liebe, have you noticed, have you heard, about the construction going on outside the city?" Frau Meyer: "I've heard, but what of it?" Herr Meyer: "They're building barracks. I hear it's going to be some sort of camp. I can't say for what, except it's going to be big. And there's this one building in the middle, I don't know, maybe this means nothing, but sticking up out of it, it's got these huge chimneys." Herr Meyer points out one more thing he's learned, bizarre new laws that the state has passed, laws saying who does and doesn't count as a Jew. It sounds utterly silly--"Who are these people to tell us if we're Jews or not??" Frau Meyer scoffs--yet he tells her that's not the point, the point is that they ARE Jews, and obviously these laws are going to be used for something. He's convinced it has something to do with "blood"--the doctor slipped up in his anger, and hinted at something he shouldn't have--and whatever it all means, if they're willing to target Himmel's son, they'll have no problem coming for the Meyers. They've held out as long as is sensible; now, it's time to go. Herr Meyer makes sure to fill Himmel in on what's happening. He's dismayed to learn they'll be leaving; Herr Meyer quickly reassures him that nothing in his personal situation will change, his friend will keep the deli open and running, and Himmel's rent arrangement will stay in place, same fee. Himmel looks somewhat relieved by this news, but admits to him that he's still sad to see the Meyers go--although he can't blame them--and he hopes they'll be well. The day they leave, Frau Meyer gives Himmel a big basket of foods, hugs him hard, and tearfully waves until they're out of sight. She sniffles and wipes her eyes along the entire trip down the country and on to Switzerland. The Meyers manage to stay safe throughout all the horror that follows. There's just so much awful news, day after day, week after week, year after year, that they actually forget about Himmel after a time, they're so glad not to have to deal with any of it themselves, and grief stricken over the immense losses everyone else has to deal with. It's only much, much later, after the war is over and their daughter is a young woman, that a letter arrives from Herr Meyer's friend. He'd written occasionally before, but always had to remain rather vague, and never sent any word of Himmel. He writes now to wish them well, says the city--which had the good fortune of falling to the western Allied forces, rather than the nearer Red Army--has been cleaned up following the chaos it was left in in the final days of fighting, and although it's being split between the western Allies and the Soviets, it's safe for travel right now; and oh, right, he hasn't been able to confirm it's the same person, but he's caught wind of a quick military tribunal that's being prepared, and the name of the defendant is Himmel. Herr and Frau Meyer are aghast to learn that this Himmel, whether he's "their" Himmel or not, is being tried for war crimes as a member of the SS--a Nazi. There's no way, it can't be him, Frau Meyer argues; not their Himmel, he was good, he was kind, he would never join the Nazis, the very same people who called his beloved son an idiot, and threatened to kill him. Surely Otto Himmel is a common name? There's no way to know for sure without being present at the trial...which Frau Meyer determines she wishes to do, despite the inconvenience. It'll drive her mad if she doesn't find out. She arranges for her daughter and herself to travel back to attend in person while Herr Meyer remains behind; and when the date of the trial arrives, the two women enter the building being used as a makeshift courtroom and take their seats in the gallery. The seats quickly fill up with other people, civilian and military, curious to observe; the tribunal officials take their places, the case is laid out, and the defendant is called in to take the stand. The doors open and two soldiers escort in someone in wrist shackles; Frau and Fräulein Meyer turn in their seats to look as they go past. "Mein Gott!" Frau Meyer whispers behind her hand in dismay, "That's him. Herr Himmel! What happened to him...?" Himmel takes the stand, his cuffs removed, and is told to give his name, yet his voice is very faint and hoarse, and the officer presiding as judge instructs him to speak louder; Himmel--older and wearier looking than Frau Meyer remembers--just looks nonplussed. A clerk whispers something in the judge's ear; he tells someone to fetch a microphone for Himmel to use. Once it's set up in front of him, he's again asked his name--"Otto Aloysius Himmel," he quietly says--and his rank--he doesn't say Hauptmann, but Hauptsturmführer, a word Frau Meyer's unfamiliar with. Even after watching him walk by, she'd tried to convince herself this isn't possibly the Himmel she knew, even his voice is different; yet as he starts answering questions, it becomes clear this is indeed the same person who lived over the deli with his son, and once offered to defend the Meyers from the young nationalists then bothering them. The first day of testimony mostly just lays out the general details of who he is and his job during the war--he says he was a secretary in the Allgemeine-SS, and oversaw something called Projekt Weltuntergang--and it isn't until late in the day that the Meyers learn the purpose of the project--human experimentation--and then, a much more specific charge that's been leveled against Himmel: the execution-style murder of a female American corporal. Frau Meyer puts her hands over her face. "It can't be true!" she exclaims as her daughter tries to soothe her on their way back to the inn where they're staying during the trial. "Not Herr Himmel! I can't believe it, any of this. They must have the wrong person!" Yet the very next day, Himmel again takes the stand to resume where they left off; the officer questioning him asks if he's indeed the one who executed Corporal Anna Julian. "I am," Himmel says in his oddly quiet voice, "and if I had to, I would do it again." Frau Meyer suppresses an unhappy sound, wipes her wet eyes. She can't understand how she and her husband read him so wrong, and/or how somebody could change so drastically, especially after seeing how devoted a good father he tried to be for Kolten. Yet as Himmel's testimony continues...it slowly becomes clear that Kolten, currently living safe with a couple out in the country, is actually the reason Himmel is now here. He always used to say he would do anything to keep his son safe...it turns out this much is true. Himmel's actions are explained here: Anna Julian; Johanna Wolfstein; Liam Morgan; Lieselotte Albrecht. ...It's all overwhelming, and emotionally exhausting. Himmel is worn out by the trial's finish, yet defiant to the end. He refuses to allow Kolten to be called to testify, though comments Kolten made to witnesses are allowed, as well as the drawings he made that prove Julian was involved with the SS. One by one, others who were subjected to experiments the same as Kolten (it breaks Frau Meyer's heart to learn of his treatment by Dietmar Kammler, his own uncle) testify about Himmel's efforts to sabotage Projekt Weltuntergang from the inside. (Two of the witnesses, an American soldier named Drake and a German civilian named Jakob Wolfstein, are Jewish, and both describe how Himmel helped keep them alive and gain their freedom.) Himmel still committed a terrible crime, that much he doesn't even deny, he mentions how he has nightmares every night because of it; but he did have his reason, and that reason was Kolten. The entire reason he joined the SS and the Nazi Party in the first place, and agreed to oversee the same project Kolten ended up in, was to ensure that his son lived, the only way he knew how. No matter how guilty he may be...if he had to do it all again, he would. Though he does make one small concession: "If I'd had any way to prevent all this, keep Kolten safe from the start like I promised him I would," he says, "I would gladly have done so, no matter what it took. Yet I can't change the past." Himmel fully admits to his crimes, asks for no leniency. He only asks that Kolten be left alone, to be looked after by the Albrechts, with whom he seems comfortable. A surprised murmur ripples through the courtroom when the tribunal clears him of all charges save belonging to a criminal organization; even Himmel looks like he can't believe it. The judge explains that, while Himmel is in fact guilty of an extrajudicial killing, still, there's more than enough testimony and circumstantial evidence to prove that his actions likely saved not only Kolten, but possible countless other lives that Julian threatened. Julian deserved a trial...though it's likely she would have ended up executed for treason by the American military. Additionally, Himmel provided the American Allies with a treasure trove of information on Projekt Weltuntergang, as well as the SS's secret records. He'll serve no prison time. He's stripped of his military titles and honors and released. As Himmel turns and is escorted back out of the courtroom following the verdict, Frau Meyer stands, wringing her hands; as Himmel walks past she manages to reach out and gently grasp his arm. He flinches a little, glances at her, and blinks. "Frau Meyer--?" he whispers in surprise. He remembers her, and she's sure now he harbors no ill will for her or her family. "Stay strong, Herr Himmel," Frau Meyer says, "for your son." One of the soldiers escorting Himmel nudges him, and they resume walking, though Himmel does toss the Meyer women another look as he's led away. Frau Meyer rubs her eyes and sniffles; "Let's go," she murmurs to her daughter, "I have a lot to tell your father when we get back home." ...I don't know yet that the Meyers return to take back their deli, or if they get in touch with Himmel again or not; they probably do at some point. Perhaps their daughter, who informally spent her early childhood with Kolten, meets him again, I don't know. That's a development for another day. Please see Edith Meyer's entry. [Joachim Meyer 2024 [Friday, December 13, 2024, 12:00:14 AM]] |