|
Life At LRU |
|
TEHUTI'S PER ON THE WEB NOTE: A novel I attempted, likely in high school. This is in the same vein as Luck O' The Irish, as the "Skool Spirit" tag on the inside indicates, but it didn't get as far. I just wanted to write something fun about all the goofy things that go on at my fictional college, LRU. This was started in a nice blue perforated-edge notebook. Likely from around the same time as Luck--high school, 1991-95, probably earlier rather than later.
Life at LRU [Illustration: A school sign posted out on the lawn, with trees and a building vaguely visible behind it. The sign reads: "LITTLE ROCK UNIVERSITY. Coeducational College. EST. 1955. 'If at first you don't succeed, get someone else to do it.'" Supposedly, LRU's motto.] Rachel H. [last name omitted] THE DAY STARTED off quite usually, with the students milling all over the campus of Little Rock University. It was a balmy autumn day, and they had hardly anything on their minds, as usual, except Bloody Murder Weekend. [Per Note: There is no chapter title or header.] Bloody Murder Weekend was two days set aside every once in a while for recreation. And the students' idea of recreation was freaking the living daylights out of anybody. And that was just what they intended to do, once Saturday came. But now it was only Tuesday. So instead they gathered together in little groups, planning to wreak havoc everywhere. And the ones planning to do the worst things were the members of the fraternity Omega Delta. Omega Delta may not have been the least popular fraternity, but it most certainly wasn't the most. As the name implied, it was low on the scale. Omega Delta had its popular members, but not many. The most popular fraternity was Adelphic Pi, the snobbiest was Alpha Delta, and the snobbiest sorority was Beta Delta. [Per Note: For some reason I had the misconception that lots of fraternities/sororities ended with "Delta." Regarding "Adelphic," I believe I got that name from something at my brother's college; I think there was something called "Adelphic House" and I thought it was a fraternity house. Adelphic House is also mentioned in one of the Night Of The Goat excerpts, and it appears later in the True Believers stories.] The weirdest sorority was Epsilon Sigma Pi, or ESP, and its fraternity equivalent was Omega Delta. Right now Omega Delta's members were plotting against the fraternity everybody who wasn't in hated, Alpha Delta. The meeting was taking place at the college fort. The present members were Chernobyl Cat, Damien, Krakatoa Cat, Hiroshima Cat, Natas, Beelzebub, Rocky, Rudy Lindbergh, and Christian Hosoi. [Per Note: Almost all of Chernobyl Cat's siblings, himself included, were named after disaster sites, whereas Damien's siblings were named after demons/devils. Rudy Lindbergh was named after the aviator. Christian Hosoi was indeed loosely based on the skateboarder; he no longer plays a role in any of my work, but was a major character in the King Kuts stories.] "Okay, guys," said Chernobyl, or Choby, "we gotta do somethin' to get back at Alpha Delta for what they did to us last year, when we entered LRU. 'Member?" The other eight nodded. They'd never forget. Even afterwards they'd been extremely wary of green sourballs. "Okay. This Saturday we're going to be initiated into the sophomore class. You know what that means." "What, Mr. Know-It-All?" Damien asked. "You ain't even in charge of Omega Delta." "That isn't a factor in this experiment." Damien looked at Choby funny and shook his head. "You've been in Mr. Demo's science class too long, Chobe." [Per Note: If I'm remembering correctly, Mr. Democritus, AKA Mr. Demo, was loosely based on a junior high science teacher of mine, Mr. Scott. I could be wrong, though.] Choby ignored him. "So we've gotta do somethin' real rotten to them. Any ideas?" You could've heard a pin drop. No one moved or said a word. "Oh, come on," Choby whined. "Tell me you guys got at least one suggestion." No reply. Chernobyl made an annoyed sound in his throat and pushed his Shriner's fez back. "C'mon! We're gonna pay them back! Sourball, sourball, sourball!" he started chanting. After several sourballs, the other fraternity members grew angry and started chanting along, eventually banging on the wooden walls of the fort. And after they'd shouted "Sourball" several dozen times, Chernobyl signalled for them to shut up. "So, whatta we gonna do?" he shouted. Rocky suddenly jumped up. "KICK SOME BUTT!!" he screamed. [Per Note: Rocky was originally created by Mya S.] Everyone looked at him, startled. Noticing this, he grinned, mumbled an apology, and sat back down. "Speaking of butt, where's Shannon?" Damien said, looking around. [Per Note: Shannon was another of Mya's characters.] "We should kick his butt if he's here and he didn't show up. He belongs to Omega Delta, too. We own him." He got a crazy look, like Doctor Frankenstein. "He took sick leave." "Where'd he take it? To MacDonald's [sic]?" Rocky laughed. He fell to the floor and started rolling around. Choby shook his head. "I swear to god [sic] that you are the--well, I should say one of the stupidest people I've ever met. Life at LRU Welcome to LRU, the weirdest college on Earth! It's the place where ghosts go, students rap, and coeds poll teachers on famous rock bands! [Per Note: Back then I wasn't aware that "coed" refers to only female students.] Invite yourself to a wild party, enroll in strange classes with even stranger teachers, and get acquainted with some of the biggest weirdos the world's ever seen! It's new! It's unusual! It's insane! It's life at LRU! |