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The Great Shriner Caper: Front Material/Chapter 1 |
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Copyright ©1990 by Rachel H. [last name omitted] Dedicated to Mya and Kristi, they through my memories sing; And also dedicated to the Shriners and the Masons, although they won't tell me anything. Note--I don't know of any Masonic ceremonies, so if the ones in this story are similar to theirs, I either took a lucky guess or I have ESP. Hint: I didn't predict Watergate. I wasn't thought of just yet. [Per Note: I first learned of the Freemasons through some of my occult reading. I was beyond thrilled when my dad then informed me that he was a Freemason (no longer practicing, however). I wanted to learn all kinds of things, but of course he could/would not tell me. This piqued my interest and I went on to think up this story and the related (and also unfinished) If You Were A Freemason..., as well as a story I don't think I ever started, Square & Compass. Dad told me some real horror stories (he wasn't the most reliable source, but I was pretty gullible), so I was truly convinced that if I somehow seemed to possess forbidden knowledge, I would be in serious trouble. I've since learned otherwise.] THE DAY STARTED off unusually warm, but this was a Cheboygan summer, after all. It had rained recently so the weather was hot and humid, or 'muggy'. Damien, the wirehaired pointing griffon, had gone outside and was fanning himself and drinking lemonade. The kids were over at Princess's house, so he didn't have to babysit. Looking at his watch, he wondered how long it would be until Chernobyl Cat, or 'Choby', as they called him, would be back. He had left early that morning for an important meeting at the Shriners' temple, Al Ambalahalah. [Per Note: The full name of Al Ambalahalah is Al Ambalahalahwallawallabingbang. This was retconned into the story at a slightly later date.] "What do they do there, anyway?" Damien asked himself out loud. "Watch naked women dance?" He laughed to himself silently and watched an ambulance pull into the driveway. It made rusty putting sounds as it stopped. [Per Note: I meant like "putt-putt" sounds.] Damien stood up, for the ambulance had a Shriners Hospital [sic] emblem on the side. Chernobyl jumped out and ran into the house. Damien went over to the putting ambulance, leaned inside, and saw another Shriner waiting anxiously. "What's the matter?" Damien asked. The Shriner turned to face him. "We're going to be recieving [sic] some Masons today for their ceremonial entrance to the Shriners. Tokky--he's the Grand Pooh-Bah, you know--is in a heck of a mood so we have to hurry back. Choby needs to get a book of ceremonies. If we don't get back soon, Tokky'll skin us alive." Damien looked around. "Glad I'm not a Shriner." "You could be one." "No thanks! But I have a question. Could I perhaps tag along for a bit? To help with decorations or something?" "Well, okay, but stay away from the ceremonial books. You'll have to leave before the ceremony." "Don't worry." Damien got in and so did Chernobyl, who drove them to the temple. When they got there, Damien was overwhelmed at the sight of so many Masons, Shriners, and lodge members. The Bass, Leopard, Antelope, and other lodges were there. [Per Note: I believe I made all those up for some reason. At least, a very quick Google search brings up only hotels and such.] In the midst of it all was a cat shouting orders. He had a gold tassel instead of a black one and the emblem on his fez was all gold instead of different colors. Damien tapped him on the shoulder. "I've come to help with the decorations." Tokky glanced at him disinterestedly and scanned him critically, then turned away and said, "Whatever strikes your fancy." "He is in a tiff," Damien whispered to Chernobyl. "Ha! Just try calling him 'bub' or something!" Chernobyl exclaimed. "I wouldn't dare!" "Watch." Choby walked straight up to Tokky and said loudly, "Hiya, bub!" Tokky whirled around and glared at him. "Do not, under any conditions, call me bub!" [Per Note: Shades of Edmond (Edmond & Fredestaire) hating being called a "mutt," and Fredestaire hating being called "Freddy," and Charmian (Manitou Island) hating being called "little girl."] Choby snickered and strutted back to Dami, while Tokky stormed off and started yelling at Bass Lodge 790. "I do it all the time," he said. "I'm even the one who invented the name Tokky." "What's his real name?" "To tell you the truth, I don't remember. [Per Note: Later on I believe I decided it was Tanneke, but that's a feminine name. So currently, I don't know what his real name is.] That was about two years ago when I first joined the Masons. [Per Note: No idea if this fits the timeline.] I think it might have been some foreign or weird name, though. He's from Holland." "Where's his accent?" "Gone. He's lived in America for a long time." [Per Note: I now think he's likely American born though of recent Dutch descent.] "So he's Dutch," Dami said. "Tokky VanTok [sic]," Choby said, and started laughing. "If he was Scottish, 'McTok'." He laughed again. "A restaurant, 'McTokkalds'. Russian, 'Tokski' or 'Tokva'." [Per Note: I didn't then understand various naming conventions (son of, daughter of, etc.), and frankly I still don't.] By now he was laughing up a storm, along with several other Shriners nearby, who had heard the whole thing. Tokky was glaring at them broodingly. He suddenly said, "Want me to tapdance in clogs all over your head, or jam tulips up your nose, or perhaps saw off your tail with a windmill?" Choby and the others stopped and looked up. Tokky had picked a tulip and was waving it threateningly, and he was spinning the tip of his tail around and tapping his foot. "No, sir," Chernobyl said meekly, which astounded Damien. "Then stop giving a history of foreign names. I'm satisfied with just plain Tokky, not Tokky Van Tok, and I'm sure your friend has heard enough." He smiled weakly and apologetically at Damien, then left. Chernobyl picked up the tulip, sniffed it and said with a grin, "Maybe I should call him 'Flower Boy'." |