|
Rosina Kestler Blog Entry |
|
January 6, 2023, 3:00:08 AM January 6, 2023, 3:00:19 AM 1/6/23: r/SketchDaily theme, "Trees/Free Draw Friday." (I did Free Draw Friday.) This week's character from my anthro WWII storyline is (SS-Helfer) Rosina Kestler, sans cap (top drawing) and with cap (bottom drawing). She's a secretary for Major Ludolf Jäger and coworker of Captain Otto Himmel. He's widowed and is the only guy secretary working among a lot of women so he gets quite a bit of unwanted attention; Kestler is the only one who treats him decently and they often eat lunch together. She has her reasons for not pursuing him. There'll be more about her later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se. Regarding her design, she's not albino, she's leucistic. TUMBLR EDIT: Kestler isn't a major character and I don't know much about her yet. Truthfully, I've been drawing some lesser characters to try to catch my blog up since I spend so long writing these character entries when I should really save all this for Toyhou.se, but I just get so into things. ;_; But anyway...Rosina Kestler. Major Ludolf Jäger of the Allgemeine-SS is progressive thinking in some ways that are odd for a Nazi: He despises the mass-murder his organization often participates in, he believes in the use of science and knowledge to help society progress, and he thinks women are useful for more than just keeping house and having children (though he's the father of a pretty impressive brood himself). A result of this is he employs almost exclusively women in his sizable office. Sure, they're secretaries, but Jäger is simply a bureaucrat himself ("glorified secretary" is one of the derogatory nicknames others in the SS have given him), so of course his employees would deal mostly with papers. Considering the SS's heavy reliance on records, it's not as ignoble a job as one might think, and Jäger's Helferinnen ("helpers," female auxiliaries) are not only skilled but quick workers, largely due to their numbers. Jäger insists it's merely that young women just have a "better mind" for such business, so of course it's a bit odd when he introduces a male SS officer, Captain Otto Himmel, to the group. Himmel, who served in the Great War and so is older than the women, has just resigned from the military and joined the SS, seeking a post that doesn't involve combat--thus the Allgemeine-SS--and is pretty low key, behind-the-scenes deskwork. Jäger's office processes such applications (among multiple other duties); he usually hands them off after a cursory glance, but Himmel's application catches his eye. Himmel has experience (following being wounded at the end of the Great War, he was given a desk job), and looks like he'll be a perfect fit. Sure, he's an older guy and not a younger woman. But decent help is decent help, and Jäger invites Himmel in for an interview. There's an ulterior motive here too, however. Someone like Himmel is qualified enough to end up in a much better position, but Jäger offers something Himmel can't refuse: Protection for his mentally disabled so, Kolten. Himmel has worked hard to keep his son's status shielded from the Nazis, but the SS can find things out. Himmel takes the drastic step of joining the SS in the hopes that membership will actually help keep Kolten safe; it works, though not in the way he'd expected. Jäger figures out the truth behind Himmel's son and offers to protect him from persecution, if Himmel will work for his office. Himmel is so desperate to keep Kolten safe that this strikes him more as mercy than as extortion, and he agrees. He's not interested in any better position, anyway. He just wants to sit at a desk and type, file papers, visit his son, and go home. His wife Dagmar died giving birth to Kolten, and he's never been interested in getting remarried; his son is his life. Whatever it takes to protect him, he'll do. So now, he ends up the newest--yet oldest--member of Jäger's work force, and suddenly finds himself surrounded by young, beautiful, single women...almost all of whom are actively seeking a good, eligible SS husband. Um...oops. Himmel had a pretty bad first experience with women when he headed off to the Western Front as a teenager, so he's mostly avoided the opposite sex since then, as he feels painfully anxious around them. Dagmar was the exception; she gradually wore down his defenses, and he loved her dearly. Although it's been years, he's never really gotten over her death, and still writes her letters to help himself cope. (He also...has "visions" of her, of a sort, though the same thing happened after his mother's suicide; he knows this is just his mind dealing with the loss, though for him it's also "real" in a way, almost like a religious experience. It's hard to explain except to say he's not delusional.) The SS would really rather he remarry, but they kind of give him a pass due to him being a widower. So of course, he doesn't want anything to do with his female coworkers, but they make things rather difficult. What starts out as flirtation and innuendo eventually turns into highly inappropriate situations including attempts at outright groping; Himmel does his best to slip past the Helferinnen whenever he can, though they're very persistent and occasionally corner him. ("Is that a candy roll in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" SS-Helfer Katja Haring coos after pinning him in a corner; he pulls out...a roll of candy, which he's planning to give his son. Katja is disappointed.) He can't really complain about any of this because that would just be weird; men are supposed to enjoy such things, and he figures Jäger's reaction will be to ask him well WTF is wrong with that. (When the wife of the camp commandant flirts with him later on, for example, Jäger rebukes him for going after a married woman rather than a single one--Himmel never went after anyone at all.) Every day when he shows up to work it's almost like running a gantlet of hungry piranha so, long story short, the work atmosphere is pretty stressful. He spends most of his time huddled at his typewriter and pointedly ignoring the smiles and batted eyelashes of his coworkers, though whenever he gets up to go past anyone it's everyone for themselves. There's at least one exception to all the harassment, and that's SS-Helfer Rosina Kestler. Her coworkers' crass behavior disgusts her, not really because it's in direct conflict with how SS-Helferinnen are supposed to act, but because Himmel seems like a decent person, a hard worker, and to her it's pretty obvious the women's attention distresses him. She rebukes the other Helferinnen whenever Himmel is out of earshot, knowing he'd be embarrassed to be defended, but their reaction is to accuse her of just wanting him for herself. This couldn't be further from the truth, though she can't really convince them of this--he's eligible, he's good looking, he's moderately high ranking, he has military experience and seems like the SS ideal, who wouldn't want to marry him? Since she also can't convince the others to let him be, she tries to be friendly to him herself, always greeting him politely (and sans groping) and making efforts at innocent smalltalk, though aside from stiff hellos and goodbyes he shows no interest in reciprocating. This discourages her somewhat, but she can't think of much else to do without making him feel even more uncomfortable. One aspect of Jäger's forward-thinking nature is the installation of a sort of "green area" within the Allgemeine-SS office complex; this takes the form of a room rather like a cross between a solarium and a greenhouse, with glass walls and ceiling and many plants. There are benches to sit on and take in the natural beauty. Most of the employees aren't very interested in this area, so it's gone rather forgotten and is mostly unused by now. Kestler likes to visit it when she has the time for this very reason; socializing with her fellow Helferinnen isn't really her thing due to their cutthroat nature, and she doesn't get the chance for any such relaxation at home. The green area is a nice place to clear one's mind, specifically because nobody else ever goes there. Thus Kestler is surprised one day when she finds Himmel there, and he's just as startled to see her. Himmel discovered the green area a while previously, and got the same idea Kestler did; he's started taking his lunches there, to avoid the predatory Helferinnen who otherwise hover around him in the cafeteria. Kestler noticed when he stopped showing up at lunch, and wondered about it, but didn't feel familiar enough with him to outright ask. Well, now the mystery is solved. As soon as Himmel sees her he stands up with his lunch and excuses himself, apologizing for trespassing in her space (he correctly assumes her reasons for being there); Kestler hurries to try to put him at ease, insisting there's room for both of them there and she really doesn't mind his company, if he doesn't mind hers. Himmel still seems uncertain, yet sits back down, so Kestler sits on the bench opposite to give him some space; that small act relaxes him considerably, and the two of them begin to tentatively talk. She starts by introducing herself, but he already knows her name; she'd figured he'd never paid attention to it but he knows the names of everyone in the office. He may not be sociable, but he's observant. He explains he started taking his lunches here for the peace and quiet; when Kestler agrees it's much preferable to dealing with all the hungry Helferinnen he blushes, so she finally broaches the subject, that she can tell how uncomfortable their attention makes him, and she apologizes on their behalf. As she'd thought, he's embarrassed by this, so she speaks delicately, hoping not to drive him off. He seems more amenable to discussing other topics, though, so the two of them get to chatting about their lives, and to Kestler's surprise he's sociable enough after all, once he feels comfortable. He's still obviously an introvert, yes, but he's not cold and aloof the way he comes across in the office; he's actually quite warm and animated when discussing things he cares about deeply. Kestler nearly hits a roadblock when the subject of his wife comes up, but not because he doesn't want to talk about her--rather, it's merely that the pain of his loss nearly overwhelms him, even all these years later, and he loses his voice. "Sorry," he finally says, rubbing at his eye. Kestler is moved; she's never seen such love before, and finds it touching. The two of them make plans to continue taking their lunches together in the green area, away from the Helferinnen. They pass every noon eating and chatting amiably and becoming quite good friends. It's rather an odd friendship given their age and rank differences, but they don't mind. Talking about Dagmar's death is always a bit much for Himmel, but he loves relating stories of their happy times together, and Kestler loves listening to them. When Himmel mentions his son one day, though, she's surprised--"You have a son?" He's never talked about Kolten, so she had no idea. Given how freely, and adoringly, he talks about his wife, it puzzles her that he's never discussed his son. She asks to hear about him, but Himmel clams up again, just as reluctant and closed off as he'd been when she first came across him. Obviously there's something very sensitive about the subject. He didn't mention Kolten as if he were dead, so that's not it; Kestler tries hard to put him at ease, promising that whatever it is, she won't discuss it with anyone else, it's safe with her. Himmel's reluctance is stronger than usual and she senses this is more about genuine fear than shame; finally, however, he starts to share. "My son...it was a difficult birth. I don't know if that had anything to do with it, or if it was a bad gene...but...he was born with something not right." He goes on to explain that Kolten is what the doctors describe as "Blöd," slow, stupid. The terms obviously bother him--"He's not stupid, but his head doesn't work the way others' do." The boy was a sweet infant, but signs of trouble emerged as he reached toddlerhood--he didn't learn to walk and talk at the expected time, and expressed interest only in playing with building blocks, bursting into noisy tears if they were taken away--when the doctors diagnosed him with a learning disability. Himmel wished to continue caring for him on his own, but was quite poor, living in a tiny cheap apartment above a deli, and he was frequently busy with his military job, and could barely afford to pay a nanny to look after Kolten during the day. The doctors predicted that Kolten's disability would just make him even more unruly and unmanageable over time, and surely Himmel lacked the resources to properly care for him; he was pressured into relinquishing his young son to a psychiatric facility. Not long after, the doctors started refusing to let him even visit Kolten, insisting it would "confuse" the child. Himmel confides that this was an extremely difficult period for him, and he contemplated suicide more than once, as life wasn't worth living without his wife or son. It was only the knowledge that his salary helped pay for Kolten's upkeep that kept him going. When the Nazi Party came to power, Himmel had no interest in joining them, despite still being in the military, which was soon reorganized into the Wehrmacht. A rumor told to him by his superior officer made him take pause, however--supposedly, authorities were beginning to utilize a "euthanasia" program targeting physical and mental defectives, and that included people in psychiatric institutions. A gray bus bearing the sign of "Kaiser's Coffee Shop" was rumored to be making the rounds, picking up the disabled and gassing them to death. (NOTE to say that here I've conflated two different things--the "gray buses" that transported mental patients to extermination locations, and the gas vans. For the purposes of the story, although I did actually mix the two up, I'm combining them here. A bit of authorial honesty for my oopsie.) The story was bizarre, but Himmel started seeing the gray buses, and there was talk that other groups were starting to be targeted; his landlord and family, for example, who owned the kosher deli over which he lived, informed him they were leaving the country for now, just to be safe, though they handed ownership over to a non-relative who continued to charge him the same amount for rent. Although children of Kolten's age weren't being targeted yet, Himmel agonized over what he should do. While out walking one day he'd been accosted by a man who, seeing he was in the army, assumed (correctly) that he'd fought in the Great War and (incorrectly) that he too blamed Germany's enemies for stabbing them in the back, and handed him a flier for a new organization he could join. Himmel had given the pamphlet a brief glance before throwing it away in disgust. Now, however, he remembered it and dug it back out. This organization affiliated with the Nazi Party was the budding Schutzstaffel, and Himmel decided he should join. Here Kestler interrupts to ask something she's been wondering about for quite a while: Why DID he join the SS? "You're not like the other SS men," she says, "you're...sweet." This description seems to alarm Himmel--he obviously never intended to give the impression that he's "sweet." He answers the question, though: As twisted up as it is, he did it in the hopes of protecting Kolten. That sounds beyond bizarre until he admits that he assumed the Nazi Party wouldn't go after the families of its members. There is a small grain of truth to this, though not nearly as much as Himmel had hoped. Still, SS membership does end up having its benefits. For example, much better wages and economic incentives--the SS takes care of its members, and moved Himmel to a nice large apartment near HQ. (When first shown the suite, he asked who he'd be living with, the place is that big.) Another example, Jäger offered Kolten protection for his own reasons, so Himmel's desperate plan did work, in that respect. Additionally, Jäger's string-pulling resulted in Himmel's immediate promotion to Hauptsturmführer, the SS equivalent of the army's Hauptmann (captain), Himmel's rank when he resigned from the Heer. And it turns out people take the SS seriously. One of his first acts as a new SS officer was to go in uniform to the facility housing Kolten and demand to see his son in person. The head doctor told the nurse to put off "Hauptmann Himmel" like they always had, until she clarified that now he was dressed like an SS man. That changed the doctor's tune immediately, and while he still insisted Himmel shouldn't inform Kolten of their relationship, at least he could see him. It was his first chance to visit his own son in years, and the doctor assumed he wouldn't be able to recognize him, leading him to the common room where the children and adolescents were all gathered, doing their own things. Yet Himmel had taken a good look around before focusing on a boy sitting off by himself, building an elaborate structure with toy blocks, and he knew immediately this was Kolten. After his visit he threatened the hospital staff that they better continue to allow him to visit or else he'd take action. Likewise, he warned them not to engage in any acts themselves involving extermination of their patients. (He didn't actually have authority to do this, but counted on them being too afraid to look into it.) The doctor informed him his facility had had no such plans; kind of ironically, when Himmel had arrived in uniform, they'd thought he was there to issue such an order to start killing their patients. Kolten just happened to have the luck of being in a facility that DOESN'T want to participate in the euthanasia program. So now--here Himmel is, a member of the SS with a mentally disabled son in a psychiatric facility; he serves entirely at Jäger's whim (and Jäger, despite being perfectly pleasant and reasonable 90% of the time, is well known for his batsh*t-crazy murderous fits the other 10% of the time), but, if that's what it takes to keep his son safe... Again, Kestler finds herself touched by Himmel's love for his family, and after he speaks of his wife again she murmurs, "If I found someone who loves me even half as much as you love your wife, I'd be happy." Himmel: "I'm sure there's someone out there who'd love you that much." Kestler: "I'm not so sure such a person exists." Himmel: "Don't sell yourself short. You're a kind, lovely woman, there must a man out there looking for someone like you." Kestler: (uneasily) "Well...the thing is...it's not a man I'm looking for." Himmel: (long stare) (blinks) "Oh." Kestler at last gives her own reason is for joining the SS-Helferinnenkorps. Like him, she doesn't seem like she belongs; it was actually the wish of her parents to join the auxiliaries and hopefully find a decent SS husband. This revelation explains why she's the only Helferin in the office to not even try to flirt with him. She begs Himmel not to tell anyone else what she just told him: "It's like with your son, they'll never let me live if they find out." Himmel reassures her he has no interest in getting her in trouble, and it isn't even a quid pro quo: Even if she didn't know his own secret, he would still keep hers. He's worried the SS will find out by other means, however--she doesn't have Jäger's protection the way he does. He suggests that the two of them not conceal their visits to the green area--he doesn't care about his own reputation, as far as he's concerned he's set, but if it seems they're interested in each other, it might keep the SS off her back. Kestler hates the thought of using their friendship like that, but he says he doesn't mind, if it helps keep her safe. She promises to think it over. When their meetings do become known it doesn't really do much for Himmel himself--the other Helferinnen are still gropy and bothersome--but it does help keep suspicion off Kestler, since they jealously assume she's vying for Himmel's affections the same as they are. Jäger meanwhile is always too busy doing his own thing to bother with the affairs of his secretaries. This is why Kestler, and not him (he?), is the first to notice one day when Himmel doesn't show up for work. This is HIGHLY unusual, as Himmel isn't only punctual, he's usually early--gives him a better chance to avoid running the gantlet of handsy Helferinnen. Kestler has taken to being there early to greet him; she waits a while, but he doesn't show. She asks a few of the others if they've seen him, they say no. She asks a few workers elsewhere in the building, maybe he entered by another door? No one's seen him. Finally she approaches Jäger when he arrives and tentatively broaches the subject. Jäger is puzzled--he too finds this odd--and he calls the guards outside the building; they report that Himmel never signed in. This seems to bother him a little but he tells Kestler they'll give it a day, maybe Himmel finally took some personal time, even though Jäger would've preferred he called in first. Kestler doesn't believe for one minute that Himmel would just neglect his duties like this, so she spends the entire day and night agonizing. When she arrives at work the next day and Himmel STILL doesn't show, she hastens to report this to Jäger, and at last he starts calling around. Has anyone seen Himmel in the past day? The Helferinnen--no. The other SS workers in the building--no. The reception desk--no. The guards at the gate, whom nobody gets past without presenting papers--no. He calls the receptionist at Himmel's SS-run apartment building, where he moved to following joining the SS. The Helferin currently manning the desk says Himmel hasn't come down yet, calls his room, gets no answer; she goes up to check and finds his suite unoccupied--it looks like he hasn't slept there. She calls the Helferin who had the previous night's shift--Himmel hasn't checked in the past two nights. "Maybe he's found a lady friend...?" Jäger muses, though it's obvious he's growing increasingly worried. He asks Himmel's routine and is told he visits Kolten every afternoon/evening that he's able--even more than his work, this is something he sticks to religiously. Jäger calls the front desk at the psychiatric facility where Kolten, now in his late teens/early twenties, lives. The head doctor tells Jäger he was just about to start calling around: Himmel never showed up for his visit yesterday, which worries them. Now Jäger is REALLY concerned--there's NO way Himmel would miss such a visit without telling someone. It's time to take action. Further questioning clarifies that the last anyone saw of Himmel was the night before last, when he visited Kolten in the evening; after leaving the hospital, he never returned home. It's like he dropped off the face of the earth. Jäger instructs his SS officers to perform a systematic search and to question everyone who knows Himmel. They do so, but return a while later, emptyhanded. By now Kestler is near hysteria, and Jäger has reached his yelly-Nazi-almost-batsh*t stage--he's not used to hitting dead ends, so he orders the officers to "Go out and look again! Spread a net twice as big! Question twice as many people! And if you still find nothing, look AGAIN! Don't make me tell you a third time!" Well, everyone knows what happens if you piss off Jäger, so they obey. Yet still find nothing. And Jäger believes them when they fearfully report back, because he doesn't shoot them. Kestler begs to know if he has any information to share and he admits he has nothing to offer; he's obviously frustrated and confused. Assuming Kestler has feelings for Himmel, he promises that they won't stop looking, but "I'm running out of ideas, Kameradin, there are only so many places to look. Unless Kamerad Himmel shows up on his own, I don't know what else to do." Kestler returns to her apartment that night and cries herself to sleep; no, she doesn't have feelings for Himmel, but she considers him a dear friend--her only friend, really--and she has a feeling of dread that something truly awful has happened to him. With how much he's helped her, she hates that she's so powerless to help him. As Jäger says, though--unless Himmel himself reappears, there isn't much else anyone can do. Well...Himmel finally does reappear...over two weeks later. He shows up late at night at his apartment building, dressed in an oversized coat buttoned up to the collar, and addresses the Helferin at the desk, asking for a key to his room as he's lost his. His appearance startles her--he's gaunt and glassy eyed and talks in a whisper so quiet she can barely understand him, and he keeps wincing and putting a hand to his neck. She offers to call Jäger, but he declines, saying he'll do so himself. She gives him a key (breaking SS rules, since he doesn't show her his papers, which he claims he also lost), and he heads up to his room. Jäger, currently at his home in the foothills, is awakened by Himmel's call--at least, the person on the other end claims to be Himmel. He requests that Jäger come to his apartment, and Jäger does, despite it being the middle of the night. He arrives and knocks, but no one answers at first; he'd gotten a key from the front desk, so he lets himself in, starts to look around. Then abruptly comes across Himmel, huddling in a hall and pointing a pistol at him. Upon seeing it's just Jäger, he lowers the weapon and relaxes; but Jäger is full of questions and starts interrogating him: "Kamerad Himmel! Where on earth have you been? We looked all over for you, for weeks! What's happened? Why are you dressed like that? Why are you talking like that...?" Himmel waves and tries to settle him down; he gingerly unbuttons and removes his coat. Jäger's eyes grow seeing the massive ugly stains visible even on the front of his black-and-brown uniform; there are bandages around his neck. He loosens them enough to show Jäger--a long jagged slash across his throat, nearly from ear to ear, sutured shut with wide stitches. In a faint whisper--his vocal cords are obviously damaged--he attempts to explain to the stunned Jäger what happened. He'd left the psychiatric facility after visiting Kolten and took his regular route to his apartment building, leading him through empty park area (he likes to walk through parks); there he was accosted by two men who grabbed him, cut his throat, and dumped him in a ditch. It was too steep and he was too stunned and in pain to climb out; all he could do was press his hands over his neck to try to keep the wound shut and stop the bleeding before losing consciousness. He came to when somebody rolled him over and tried to steal his uniform, startling the other man, who'd obviously assumed he was dead; upon seeing he was still alive, he and the other man with him--different from the two attackers of before--pulled him out of the ditch and transported him elsewhere, covering his eyes as they did so so he couldn't see where he was going. He was taken to a small room with a bed, and another man who was obviously a doctor stitched up his throat while Himmel passed out again. Jäger asks who these people were, yet Himmel says he doesn't know--"Good Samaritans" is all he can offer. (He deliberately withholds the information that one of the men who talked to him explained they were with the Diamond Network, a resistance group.) They kept him until his wound had healed enough for him to get around on his own, then released him near his apartment building, though they kept his ID papers and what personal effects he had on him. From there he'd gone home, spoken to the Helferin at the reception desk, and returned to his room to call Jäger. Jäger is even more confused by now--who were these attackers, why would they want him dead? Himmel may be SS but most people leave the SS alone, and all he does is work a typewriter. Who could he have possibly offended? Himmel claims he knows who sent the men but insists that Jäger tell no one and take no action if he tells him; Jäger protests but Himmel is adamant, so he finally, reluctantly agrees. Himmel details how the doctor in charge of a medical project Jäger's department is funding came to him to ask that Himmel enter his son Kolten in the project: Projekt Weltuntergang's purpose is to create a super soldier with enhanced strength, endurance, and intelligence, and as a mental defective with the right blood type, Kolten seems like the perfect test subject. Himmel of course refused; it's his theory that the doctor, angry to be denied this chance, hired the thugs to kill him so the doctor could assume custody of Kolten as his sole surviving relative: This is Dr. Dietmar Kammler, Dagmar's brother and thus Kolten's uncle. Jäger put Himmel in charge of overseeing his project; the two have hated each other since Dagmar married Himmel. Kolten is the straw that broke the camel's back. Jäger is bewildered that Himmel's own brother-in-law would want him dead, but again pleads to be allowed to seek punishment--again Himmel refuses. He worries this will make things worse for Kolten. And speaking of Kolten, it's been weeks since he's seen him, and he doubts Dr. Kammler would have given up his idea to make use of him--is he all right? Jäger pales and admits he hasn't checked on the project since before Himmel went missing (he did question Dr. Kammler, but Kammler denied knowing anything, and Jäger had no reason to doubt him). Normally it's Himmel's job to provide oversight; Jäger just holds the purse strings, and Himmel reports to him. He only goes to visit the project when invited by Kammler--and Kammler hasn't invited him since before Himmel's disappearance. Despite it being the middle of the night, Jäger telephones the psychiatric facility and learns that a doctor visited with a release form, on SS letterhead and with Himmel's signature (obviously forged), and secured Kolten's transfer to project headquarters; this is in the same building as Jäger's offices, so, "I'm so sorry, Kamerad, I swear I had no idea," Jäger insists, obviously stricken by his own negligence. (NOTE to say, I think Jäger is being honest here, but I'm not 100% sure! He did promise Himmel he'd protect Kolten, but did that protection extend to keeping him out of experiments that might feasibly HELP him...? And Jäger is just conniving and manipulative enough--even Himmel admits this in the final story--that he could do something like this, even to a friend. He's the one who at the end instructs his pregnant wife to kill all their beloved children and then herself should he be killed, after all, so that shows you just how ruthless he can be...) From the looks of it, Kolten has already been entered into the experiment. Himmel refuses Jäger's pleas to pursue punishment, though he wants to speak to Kammler himself. He'll handle things his own way. Jäger is reluctant but agrees; he drives Himmel to project headquarters, where Kammler also has his personal quarters as he isn't in the SS so doesn't qualify for an apartment. Himmel enters Kammler's study and sits down in the dark to wait for him to wake. He can't do anything to keep Kolten out of the project anymore, but he can make it clear that he knows Kammler's role in things, and use that knowledge as leverage against him to ensure that if Kolten is hurt, Kammler will be in for a world of hurt, himself. Anyway...the next morning, the news hits Jäger's office that Himmel has returned, battered but alive. Jäger tells his Helferinnen to be on their best behavior (which for them means not so gropy) when he comes back to work. Himmel takes a couple of days of rest before arriving back at the office, before work hours as usual; as usual, Kestler is there, waiting. She throws her arms around him and hugs him tight despite his gasp of pain, so relieved to see him alive and (moderately) well; she's concerned about his hollow eyes and his faint whisper (his uniform collar pretty well covers up the bandages), but he says he can't explain just yet. He does fill her in later on, after he's healed a bit more, though he never does regain the ability to speak above a hoarse murmur (and often not even that). Kestler's worry increases at the thought that Himmel will continue working with Kammler, overseeing Kolten's involvement in the project, but like Jäger she agrees to keep quiet. Kolten is a moderately successful test subject, and Himmel will do anything to keep him alive. He visits his son at project headquarters instead of the psychiatric facility, now; one good thing about it is now he doesn't have to worry about depending on the doctors whose political alignment is fickle. He despises how his son is treated as a guinea pig, but Dr. Kammler DOES make sure he's treated much better than test subjects generally are, and his physical safety is ensured. When the Trench Rats, American soldiers, attack a group of Nazis transporting Kolten between facilities and manage to capture him, Himmel is devastated (Kestler spends some time consoling him), yet slowly realizes this may be to Kolten's benefit: The Trench Rats are primarily known for liberating and aiding prisoners and resistance members, so chances are high they'll take good care of Kolten, if he doesn't end up killing them in an angry fit first. Several times, the SS comes into contact with a semi-retired Wehrmacht general named Schavitz, who lives in an old castle near a river with his skeleton staff, largely inherited from the previous owners (who mysteriously "disappeared"). Schavitz is obviously and hopelessly corrupt, but also very rich (again, by dubious means) and highly influential, so the Wehrmacht and the SS grant him lots of leeway even when rumors spread of him being engaged in unsavory activities which may include murdering teenage girls. He has a taste for much younger women; most of the schoolgirls he targets go along with him willingly, impressed by his big black limousine (driven by his loyal but much put-upon chauffeur, Sgt. Udo Eisen) and his fancy castle, though a few aren't quite so interested in the particular activities he's into. After the SS rejects his application for membership on grounds that Schavitz argues are spurious and defamatory, he grows increasingly resentful and enraged, and tends to take that out on others, including the girls he brings home with him. His other victims include the women who work for him, in particular the castle's maids; they don't really have other options, so they put up with his attentions, albeit with much reluctance. Among Schavitz's favorites is a kitchen maid named Dorothea. Young, blue eyed, blond braided, pretty, of course the general pays her a lot of attention when schoolgirls aren't available. She despises this, but wearily deals with it. Schavitz enlists a sniper, Lt. Ratdog, to target the Trench Rats, so Ratdog visits the castle several times along with Godfrey Klemper, a young private assigned to look after him. (This may sound odd, but Ratdog is new to the army, being given an honorary rank, while Klemper is a child soldier who's been serving for years and has actually been demoted.) Klemper, like many of his fellows in the Wehrmacht, is addicted to methamphetamine and regularly goes long periods without eating, then ends up bingeing. When he and Ratdog visit, he's promptly bored by Schavitz's business and wanders off; finding the kitchens, he decides he wants to eat. He startles Dorothea, who expects a horny soldier hitting on her, but nope, he's just hungry. She fetches food to make a sandwich; Klemper is so starved he can't make up his mind what he wants, so he tells her to just use everything. The two of them get to arguing, then bantering, then joking over the abundant food. At one point Dorothea teases Klemper, who's busy stuffing his face, "I think you're more into the food than you're into me!" Klemper says around his mouthful of food, "You're not my type." "Oh?" Dorothea retorts with feigned indignation, "What about me isn't your type--?" To which Klemper replies with his typical bluntness, "You're a woman." Yep. This is actually the reason Klemper was demoted--he had a brief relationship with a man, and the SS caught wind of it. (It didn't help that the man in question was a partisan...and Jewish. But anyway.) He was barely allowed to live, much less continue serving in the army--thanks mostly to the intervention of Himmel, as it turns out, though Klemper is so far unaware of this, and hates the SS for their role in his demotion, so he ridicules Himmel every chance he gets. (Klemper seeing Himmel at his typewriter: "Do you always do women's work?" Himmel: "Are you always so charming?--or do you have to practice?") Dorothea is like o_o but can't really argue. "Ja, well..." she says, a bit nonplussed, "...you're not my type, either." Klemper: (scoffing) "Ja, and what about me isn't your type!" Dorothea: "You're a man!" Klemper: "You say that just 'cause I said it first." Dorothea: "Do not!" Klemper: "Do so!" Dorothea: "Eat your food, your mouth doesn't know what it's doing." Klemper: "Women don't like women like that!" Dorothea: "Oh? Why not?" Klemper: "You can't have babies that way." Dorothea: "What! What if I don't want babies, you think of that, Besserwisser [Know-It-All/Smartypants]?" Klemper: "Every woman wants babies! That's what women do!" Dorothea: "Well what about you, you can't father babies that way, you think of that?" Klemper: "Easy, it's not the man's job to want babies, that's a woman thing!" (Have I mentioned Klemper's kind of a troglodyte when it comes to women...? Don't hold it against him, he just doesn't know very many of them personally, I think his mother was the only one he was ever close to. Also, shout-out to former musical artist Unheilig for introducing me to the awesome word "Besserwisser" in his song "Spiegelbild," highly recommended. Oh what the hell, ENJOY.) Dorothea finishes making the sandwich and it's just this absurdly huge thing, she warns him it'll give him trouble. Ratdog, wondering where Klemper went off to, is looking for him and he just happens by the kitchen in time to hear a woman's voice say, "Herr Klemper, it's too big, there's no way you'll ever fit it all in!" and then start giggling wildly. O_o He steps into the kitchen to see Klemper trying to fit this huge sandwich into his mouth while the maid laughs at him. Dorothea immediately stops laughing and hops to attention when she sees Ratdog, but Klemper simply says around his mouthful, "Don't worry about him, he's not a real Oberleutnant." So anyway. The point of all this meandering introduction is Dorothea herself. She may look like a fragile, ignorant maid, but she grew up in the country, a hard worker--she's tougher, cleverer, and more resilient than she appears. And she has additional reason to despise Schavitz's unwanted attention, but like I said, as a poor kitchen maid, has few options. So basically she spends her alone time dreaming of the day the old a**hole kicks it, or ends up murdered, she doesn't care which. And any distraction from the daily tedium, no matter how small, is welcome. Himmel and Jäger have reason to visit Schavitz at least once and Kestler is with them. She and Dorothea happen to glance at each other briefly. Kestler, like Schavitz, immediately notices just how beautiful Dorothea is, with her big blue eyes and long blond braids, and inadvertently her eyes go wide. Dorothea's response is to smile. Which makes Kestler's heart do a flip; she blushes terribly and looks away. This complete stranger is obviously just being welcoming toward a guest...right? Right? There's no way she's flirting. As the little group leaves the castle later on, though, Kestler looks back and to her surprise the maid is looking out the window at them; when she sees Kestler staring, she perks up, smiles again, and waggles her fingers, a friendly wave. Kestler can't help herself--she blushes again yet smiles, just a little, and gives a small wave of her own. Dorothea blows a kiss at her and she has to hurriedly turn away, albeit with a much redder face and a much quicker step. She doesn't think her insides have ever been so full of butterflies before, she almost feels like throwing up. Aww. Once back alone in her little apartment, lying on her bed and staring up at the ceiling, she can't stop thinking about the maid with her flirty pretty smile. She figures that'll be the last of their interactions, though it's nice to think about her, about what life could've been. Dorothea, meanwhile, can't stop thinking about the prim, shy woman in the smart uniform, how cute she is when she blushes. Dorothea's not quite as fatalistic as Kestler is. Meeting the other woman, knowing she exists, gives her a spark of motivation. She may not be able to do anything about her situation now, but whenever she can get out of this hellhole, she plans to go looking for the woman in the uniform, whoever she is. Toward the end of the war, Schavitz does indeed meet his unfortunate end--at the hands of a Trench Rat, Gold, and Ratdog himself. When word reaches Schavitz's castle about what happened, the staff are stunned. Upon learning Schavitz won't be returning, Sgt. Eisen promptly confesses to his role in covering up Schavitz's crimes--which he rattles off in detail, a very long and gruesome list, as well as where to find all the proof--then shoots himself in the head. Left masterless and in disarray as Allied forces finally enter the country, the rest of the staff decide to go off their own ways--some go looking for family, others just run. Dorothea has no family, but she knows who she wants to find. She manages to make off with Eisen's big shiny limo and heads toward the city. Earlier, the Trench Rats had attacked Projekt Weltuntergang headquarters and the SS building; most, such as Jäger, bailed out early, though the Rats do capture Kammler and Himmel. Kestler gets away (she decided there's no point returning to her SS-adoring parents) but has no idea what she's going to do without Himmel's aid--he's been there for her all along, the sole friendly face in the organization, so she's adrift without him. At her apartment, she packs a little case and rushes out, hurrying along the sidewalk, trying to ignore the chaos of everyone else trying to leave. She's full of dread for what the uncertain future holds. A raspy, blaring horn makes her gasp and jump, whirling around; she blinks at the huge black car slowing to a stop near her. Inside at the wheel, an unexpected face--the kitchen maid from the castle. She offers that smile that makes Kestler's heart flip and pats the seat beside her. Dorothea: "Need a ride, Fräulein...?" Kestler: "You...you came looking for me? How did you find me?" Dorothea: "Your little [SS] pin, I figure you work for them, so I look for you at the big building with the SS flags. Everyone leaving. I doubt you'd stay behind, so I go driving. Not as many people on this street as the others, I figure a smart Fräulein like you'd take this way. Hop in...?" (Kestler blushes, hurries around to get in the passenger seat; the two smile at each other, Dorothea pulls away from the curb and speeds off) Kestler: (shyly) "Kestler...Rosina Kestler." Dorothea: "Dorothea. Your name's as pretty as your cheeks when they go all red." (Kestler blushes) "Just like that." Kestler: "Where are we going?" Dorothea: "Anywhere we want. Nobody holding us down anymore." Kestler: (anxious) "I don't know anyone or anything, I have no idea what to do." Dorothea: "You know me now, ja? We're smart, we'll figure it out." (clasps Kestler's hand; Kestler clasps her hand back and they smile at each other) Dorothea does make a quick stop once they get out of the city, to remove Kestler's SS pin and cap, unbutton her jacket, muss her up a little, "So you don't look so professional." Shortly after, she manages to locate a man whom Sgt. Eisen--who, despite his loyalty to Schavitz, deeply despised him as well--had once told her about; he can forge ID papers for them. Dorothea introduces Kestler as her sister (they do look somewhat similar), and he gives them papers with their first names and a new surname. Kestler is still uncertain and afraid, but Dorothea is a rock, sure that they can find their way if they stick together. Once, while Kestler and Himmel sat together talking in the green area, Kestler with her hand on Himmel's, one of the other Helferinnen had peered in at them; Kestler promptly pulled her hand back, only for Himmel to reach out and grasp it. "Perhaps it's best for both of us if they think we're involved," he'd said; the gesture had touched her. Now, Dorothea grasps her hand again, and Kestler grasps hers back. They take their new identities and set off together. [Rosina Kestler 2023 [Friday, January 6, 2023, 3:00:08 AM]] [Rosina Kestler 2023 2 [Friday, January 6, 2023, 3:00:19 AM]] |